


Wake Up Call

by romanamongthestars



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Help, JUST, LAMP/CALM - Freeform, Logan Sanders - Freeform, Logince - Freeform, M/M, Patton Sanders - Freeform, Prinxiety - Freeform, Roman Sanders - Freeform, Virgil Sanders - Freeform, analogical - Freeform, and i don't know how these relationships tags work, and thanks for reading!, as i figure this out, bear with me, but a background character, i dont know how ao3 works?, it went over well, logicality - Freeform, love y'all, moxiety - Freeform, polyamsanders - Freeform, posted this on tumblr, royality, this is a lamp fic, thomas is there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-20 08:11:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15529926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanamongthestars/pseuds/romanamongthestars
Summary: “What exactly will they do, again?” Virgil mumbled, slightly bewildered and a bit freaked out at what he had just done.“They’ll literally give you a wake up call! They’ll call you at a specific time in the morning, whenever you need them to based on your schedule, and wake you up. They might also have a conversation with you about the day ahead of you, if you want them to-”Virgil aggressively shook his head no. “Oh, God, no thanks, no, oh God.”





	1. Prologue - Roman, Part I

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this is j here, and welcome to wake up call, my multichapter LAMP fic. i posted this on my tumblr and it went over pretty well, so now it's here, i guess!
> 
> please enjoy!
> 
> (tumblr: www.romanamongthestars.tumblr.com)

Virgil had pretty much stumbled upon the app by accident.

It was called Early Bird. His coworker, Thomas, had suggested it to him after he kept coming into work late.

“I find it welcoming, and much warmer to wake up to than some random sound. Some people have become friends with their consultants, or even  _married_  them!”

Virgil let out a snort at the last sentence. He couldn’t possibly imagine anyone would like him enough to want to be his friend, much less want to be his datemate. And talking to some random stranger every morning wasn’t exactly his style, to say the least.

But Thomas kept pushing, and finally, Virgil acknowledged his need for a better alarm of sorts. Because of the late nights he tended to pull (whether on purpose or not), it was all too easy to sleep through all seven alarms he’d set.

Finally, his anxiety about missing work overpowered his anxiety about talking to strangers. So, with Thomas’s help, he downloaded the app.

Virgil allowed it to have access to his calendar app and his phone number, forcing himself to ignore suspicions that the app could track him using that information.

And then he was…  _done_?

“Don’t worry, Virge. They’re just figuring out who your consultants will be,” Thomas reassured him.

“What exactly will they do, again?” Virgil mumbled, slightly bewildered and a bit freaked out at what he had just done.

“They’ll  _literally_  give you a wake up call! They’ll call you at a specific time in the morning, whenever you need them to based on your schedule, and wake you up. They might also have a conversation with you about the day ahead of you, if you want them to-”

Virgil aggressively shook his head no. “Oh, God, no thanks, no, oh God.”

Thomas smiled reassuringly. “It’ll be okay, Virgil. You won’t be talking to a brand-new person everyday. It’ll be anywhere from one to four people who are assigned to you. You’ll probably get to know them really well!”

Before Virgil could retort, his phone vibrated, causing both men to turn towards it with wide eyes.

_Hello, **Virgil Everett**!_

_We’re happy to announce that we have found three consultants to be matched to you. Give us feedback on our matching process here: **earlybirdhelp.com**_

“Oh, God,” Virgil groaned again. “Three?  _Three_  people?”

He covered his face, not wanting to read the names underneath the notification.

Thomas laughed a bit at his reaction. “You’re lucky. I only have one.”

 _And_ I’m _somehow the lucky one_? Virgil thought.

He peeled his hands away from his face, and forced himself to grab the phone. He was going to have to talk to these people sooner or later, he reasoned, so he might as well know their names.

_Your consultants are:_

_**Logan Ariv** _

_**Patton Hannan** _

_**Roman Anderson** _

_Your first early bird call is scheduled for:_

**_Tomorrow (Wednesday) Morning at 7:00 AM_ **

_Consultant: **Roman**_

“Jesus,” Virgil mumbled. “What the hell did I just sign myself up for?”

***

The next morning, Virgil somehow didn’t sleep through the loud, chirpy sound of the Early Bird call.

He gulped before reluctantly answering it, still half-asleep.

“Hel-”

“ _Good morning, Virgil!_ ” a loud, charming, confident voice sang -  _literally sang._  “This is your Wednesday morning Early Bird Call! Time to get your gorgeous self up and out of bed because it looks like you have an extraordinarily busy day toda-”

Virgil promptly yelped and hung up.

“Shit,” he mumbled, covering his face. His first day using this app and he’d probably already ruined any chances of a friendship, or at least an acquaintanceship, with one of his consultants.

 _At least you have two more chances,_ Virgil thought, dragging himself out of bed.

***

Meanwhile, across town, Roman was staring at his phone, confused and a bit offended.

“Rude, much?” he finally grumbled. He tossed the phone onto his bed and ran a hand through his bed head, trying to tame it.

Roman had checked out Early Bird after hearing the stories of romance blossoming in the darkest times of its participants. It’s not like he needed the money - he was a pretty successful, although not popularly known, director and stage actor - but he definitely was craving some romance.

So he had convinced his two roommates, Logan and Patton, to sign up with him as a trio of consultants. (Even though neither of them knew his true fantasies when it came to the matter.) And now they were assigned to this Virgil, who Roman was decidedly puzzled by.

Hanging up on the first phone call?

_How… enigmatic._

“Well, Mr. Virgil Everett,” Roman thought out loud as he made his way to the bathroom. “I hope you aren’t dismayed that you dodging my communication has done nothing but make me want to communicate with you more. Don’t tell Logan, because he thinks it’s his department, but I absolutely adore a great mystery.”

Roman looked down at his phone, smiling dreamily at the phone number still glowing on the screen. “And I can assure you: you are one I plan to solve.”


	2. Chapter 1 - Patton, Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His thoughts were interrupted by the voice speaking again. “Don’t worry about it! Roman told me you were a little jumpy yesterday. I promise you, there’s nothing to be afraid of!”
> 
> Virgil’s eyebrows furrowed. “Roma- wait, do you know each other or something like that?”
> 
> Another laugh. It sounded like cookies and warmth and comfort and-
> 
> And Virgil decided he was in dire need of some coffee if he was going to continue thinking like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: romanamongthestars.tumblr.com

“Don’t worry, Virgil. There are a lot of reasons why someone would hang up on someone else. I’m sure your consultant isn’t upset with you.”

Thomas was trying to reassure Virgil, who was embarrassed, anxious, and an overall mess because of what had happened that morning. Virgil appreciated the effort, but still didn’t believe him. If Roman’s voice on the phone was anything like his personality, he was probably offended.

“Look, you don’t have to talk to him for a few days, right? Just focus on talking to your other consultants for the next couple of days. Don’t worry about him until you have to,” Thomas advised.

Virgil snorted in response. “That’s definitely easier said than done.”

“Chances are, it’ll work itself out. The first conversation I had with Joan was a bit awkward, but now we’re best friends!”

 _Yeah, but you’re Thomas,_  Virgil thought as he left the room.  _And I’m just… me._

He went to bed that night promising himself that he wouldn’t freak out when his phone rang the next morning.

***

Sadly, promises are often broken, especially when they’ve been made to yourself.

When his phone rang that morning, he almost forgot what it was as he picked it up. So, naturally, his response was a scream. One that he immediately silenced with a hand to his mouth.

“Hello?” a gentle, bouncy voice made its way through the phone. “You alright, kiddo? It’s just your Early Bird call, don’t worry!”

Virgil took a deep, shaky breath. “H-hey, sorry about that, um-”

The voice laughed, and Virgil heard something almost nostalgic in it. It sounded like family and the holidays and… hugs. This voice sounded like hugs.

Was Virgil going crazy? How could a voice sound like an action?

His thoughts were interrupted by the voice speaking again. “Don’t worry about it! Roman told me you were a little jumpy yesterday. I promise you, there’s nothing to be afraid of!”

Virgil’s eyebrows furrowed. “Roma- wait, do you know each other or something like that?”

Another laugh. It sounded like cookies and warmth and comfort and-

And Virgil decided he was in dire need of some coffee if he was going to continue thinking like this. The simple truth was that it honestly didn’t matter what the voice sounded like; it had left Virgil completely vulnerable somehow, a feat that very few had ever accomplished.

“Of course we do! Logan, Roman, and I - I’m Patton, by the way - we’re all roommates! Roman convinced us all to sign up for the program together.”

Virgil couldn’t help but groan as he made his way into the kitchen and started brewing some coffee. “Well, shit. It’s just my luck that I screwed up with one of you who happens to know the other two,” he rasped.

“Awww, don’t worry about it!” Patton chirped. “None of us hold it against you. I would, however, like to get your side of the story. I don’t know if you were able to pick this up, but… Roman’s a bit dramatic. I have a feeling he created the scenario out to be a lot crazier than it really was.”

Virgil set his phone down and put it on speaker as he responded. “I guess I just… forgot what I’d signed up for. And then I picked up the phone and he - Roman - was belting at the top of his lungs, then I think he called me gorgeous, then he said something else I can’t even remember, and I had no clue what was going on. It was just a lot to take in.”

“I hear you there. Roman himself can be a lot to take in-” Patton was interrupted by an indignant “Hey!” from the background, and then he laughed. Virgil stiffened at the dramatic voice, recalling that Patton had said they were roommates.  _Oh, no._

“Actually, I’m talking to Virgil. Which reminds me, you should probably come over and apologize to him-”

“NO no nonono, it’s okay, really-” Virgil tried to interrupt to no avail, for suddenly the big dramatic voice was on the phone instead of the comfort he’d opened up to, and he winced.

“My deepest apologies to you, dearest Virgil,” Roman began, and then his voice lowered, becoming more sultry. “Perhaps I could… make it up to you at a later date?”

Virgil groaned again, and covered his face as heat rose to it. He heard Patton in the background, trying to wrestle the phone away from Roman.

“Wh.. what..” Virgil cleared his throat and tried again. “What exactly are you trying to accomplish here?”

Roman hummed, and Virgil could hear more of Patton’s scolding. “I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re talking about. Farewell, my love.”

Then he was gone, and there was more scolding and tussling, and then a door shutting. Virgil drank his coffee as he listened, face red from more than just the heat of the coffee and praying for Patton to come back.

“Alright, kiddo, I’m back. Sorry about him, but I hope you two worked things out!”

Virgil, still flustered, stammered out an “Uh-huh. Um, why do you think he feels the need to do that?”

“To do what?”

“The. Um, you know. The words and the ‘love’s and um-“

“Oh, that.” Patton giggled. “He’s a charmer. Flirting and fancy-schmancy words are in his bones. If it’s any comfort to you, he probably didn’t really mean it.”

“Oh.”

Well, that’s what Virgil wanted to hear, so why was he so strangely disappointed?

“So I see you’ve got work in about 45 minutes. What do you do?” Patton asked, a reassuring touch to his tone telling Virgil that he could back out of the conversation at any time.

“Um, I work at an art museum, actually,” Virgil answered. He picked up the phone and walked to his closet, throwing open the door and shrugging on his usual get up - black hoodie, black jeans, dark purple shirt.

“Really? The one downtown?” Patton continued, sounding legitimately interested.

“Yeah, but, why do you care so much?” Virgil’s thought was accidentally spoken aloud, in a tone of genuine confusion.

He felt his blood freeze. The line was silent for a few seconds.

_Oh, God, have I already screwed this one up, too?_

But then Patton began to talk, in a serious, gentle tone that reminded Virgil of a loving parent.

“I care because you’re an important individual and someone who I’d like to call a friend. I sense a few notes of self-doubt in your tone, but you do need to remember how important you are to everyone around you. That’s something you shouldn’t doubt or forget, Virgil.”

All aspects of playfulness had disappeared, and Patton was deadly serious. The quiet went on for a little while longer as Virgil choked down some sudden tears and figured out how to respond.

“Virge,” he finally quietly responded.

“Virge?”

“Virge. It’s… it’s what my friends call me.”

“Wait, so, can I…”

“Yes, Patton, please. Call me Virge.”

The squeals that proceeded to enamor from the phone were childlike and purely jovial, and Virgil couldn’t help but laugh.

After it died down, Virgil had one more question. “Hey, Patton?”

“Yes, Virge?” Patton responded, an obvious smile being revealed through his tone.

“How are you so good at knowing what to say and when to say it?”

Patton laughed again. “I’m a therapist. It’s my job. But I promise not to turn you into one of my patients. Still, just… know that I’m here if you ever want to talk about anything, okay? Feel free to text or call!”

Virgil let out a little chuckle.  _Of course_ Patton was a therapist.

“Thank you, Patton. I might just take you up on that offer. But I actually have to go now-“

“Of course, kiddo! I wouldn’t want you to be late! Talk to you later!”

Then the line disconnected, and Virgil immediately felt a sort of weird emptiness fill the room in the absence of that warm voice.

Virgil shook off the feeling and picked up his phone, thinking through the conversation. A sense of disbelief suddenly came upon him. Patton wanted Virgil  _to be able to talk to him?_  That knowledge came with a bit of excitement, some nerves, and an overall sense of relief.

Virgil would be lying if he said he wasn’t desperate for someone to be able to talk to. Sure, he had his co-workers, but most of them were pretty distant. Even his friendship with Thomas had some boundaries Virgil didn’t want to cross when they came up in conversation.

But Patton had somehow stripped him completely bare during a conversation that couldn’t have lasted more than ten minutes. He was a person who truly and completely listened, open and welcoming. Virgil would never admit it, but he was a complete sucker for people like that. And although it was scary how fast Patton got through to him, it was even scarier how much Virgil  _wanted_  this friendship. Virgil, who had been careful not to ever want anything in his life, material or otherwise.

Something had suddenly made a home in his chest. Something light, and fluttery, and wonderful. Something that hadn’t been there for years. He suddenly remembered the poem he was forced to study in grade school:  _Hope is the thing with feathers._

Hope. That’s what this feeling was. It was dangerous and new, an emotion Virgil hadn’t dared to get close to, and some fear was accompanying it, but… it was there.

A laugh bubbled up in Virgil’s chest as he left his apartment. Suddenly, the future looked a lot brighter. All because of one single morning conversation.

_Maybe this app wouldn’t be a bad thing after all._

***

After Patton disconnected the call, he let out a breath of air and smiled, then walked out to the kitchen to make breakfast for the apartment’s residents. He opened up the fridge and grabbed the milk, then closed it, only to discover a certain dramatic man casually leaning against the cabinets. Roman was staring at him with a far-away, thoughtful look in his eye, and Patton smiled back.

“Morning, kiddo! Here for some breakfast?”

Roman snapped out of his reverie. “Breakfast, yes, that. But also…” He suddenly moved to sit on the counter and Patton could hear a defeated sigh emerge from him. “How’d you get him to open up so quickly?”

Patton stopped his preparations and leaned back to take a good look at Roman. The thespian had his eyebrows narrowed, his face tilted down, and his bottom lip tucked between his teeth, an expression he only got when he was feeling self-conscious.

“I mean, I thought I was good with people. You know, charmer, and all that. But, you know…” Here Roman chuckled, and covered his face with his hand. “I… scared him away. It was probably my fault, I just…” Another little laugh, and an even more unsure look.

Patton shook his head. “You  _are_  good with people, Roman. He was just caught off guard, that’s all. He’s a bit different than most.”

A fond look crossed Roman’s face. “Yeah, I can tell.”

Patton smiled and crossed the room to lean against the counter next to Roman. He put a hand on his shoulder. “If it’s any comfort to you, he seemed disappointed when I told him your flirting probably didn’t mean anything. So you’ve got  _some_  sorta hold on him.”

Roman’s eyes widened, and he cleared his throat, looking away from Patton once more.

Patton smirked and moved back to where he was preparing pancake batter. Before he could start creating the mixture again, Roman said one more thing.

“How do you think I can talk to him? Without, like, scaring him again.” Roman’s voice was hopeful, his eyes cautious. He looked like a little kid asking for something from the drug store, and fondness grew in Patton’s chest at the expression. He couldn’t help letting a wide smile spread across his face as he answered.

“It’s hard for me to tell you for sure, because I’m not him. I’d say to just be gentle, be honest, and be open. But don’t forget to be yourself. I feel like that’s the most important thing with him. He’d probably be able to see right through any sort of facade you try to put on.”

Roman smirked and snorted, and just like that, his walls were up again. “Like I would ever try to mask up my incredible personality.”

Patton laughed and rolled his eyes. “Go get ready. Breakfast will be done soon.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Roman responded, rolling his eyes and moving back towards the bathroom.

Patton finally turned towards the bowl and started to mix the ingredients together, wondering why Roman suddenly cared so much about what Virgil thought of him.

_This is definitely something to talk through with Logan later._


	3. Chapter 2 - Logan, Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil was suddenly caught in a strange position. He didn’t know how to act around this Logan, who was obviously insanely intelligent - he’d already shown off both knowledge on the topic of psychology and a large vocabulary. But, even though he was smart, he wasn’t necessarily to be trusted with Virgil’s entire family life story during their first conversation.
> 
> So Virgil did something that he knew wouldn’t work, but he figured it was worth a try: he played innocent.
> 
> “Whaaaaat? I have no clue what you’re talking abo-” Virgil began, but he was soon interrupted by Logan.
> 
> “Virgil, before you continue, you must know that not even Roman, with all of his extensive theatrical background and study, can fool me with any sort of falsehood he attempts to tell.”
> 
> Well. Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: romanamongthestars.tumblr.com

Virgil was ridiculously happy.

All throughout his day, he completed every task with a pep in his step that hadn’t been seen by him before. His co-workers were confused, his boss surprised but satisfied at the sudden change. And Thomas? Thomas just wanted to get the opportunity to talk to Virgil. But their boss kept giving the said man more work to do because of how productive he was being, and Thomas didn’t get the chance to corner him until right after the museum closed and their shifts ended.

“Okay, what’s up with you?”

“What?” Virgil responded, a slight smile on his face. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You’re happy today, Virgil. Legitimately happy. Something must’ve happened to make you this way.”

Virgil snorted. “Awww, c’mon. Why can’t I just be happy for no reason?”

Thomas rolled his eyes. “But there is a reason. I can tell. There’s a difference between that kind of content happiness people get when they’re just happy and the bubbly happiness I’m seeing from you now. What happened?”

Virgil just glided over to the door, humming slightly, and Thomas came to a sudden realization.

“It was your Early Bird call, wasn’t it?”

Virgil stopped in place and looked back at Thomas, his lips twitching as if he was trying to hide a smile. “Mayyyybe,” he sang.

Thomas squealed and caught up to him. “Tell me! I’m guessing it went well.”

Virgil let the smile spread across his face as they walked out of the building together. “It did, actually. Patton was just so nice to me, and he really listened. We got along really well. Oh, and, get this: all three of my consultants are roommates.”

Thomas gasped. “Really? No way! So did Roman tell the other two about yesterday?”

Virgil shrugged. “Yeah, but Patton didn’t seem to make a big deal out of it. He had me talk to Roman again, who was a bit flirty, which I still don’t know what to make of. It was just… pretty cool. You know?”

Virgil’s half smile and the look in his eyes made Thomas grin. “Well, I’m glad you got the app. I’ve actually got to hurry over to an event, but update me tomorrow!”

They exchanged goodbyes and Thomas got into his car, immediately squealing after he shut the door. He could tell this was becoming more than just a few people hitting it off as friends.

Now it was time to wait until Virgil figured it out himself.

***

When Virgil got home that night, the hope that had resided in his chest faded completely with a single phone call.

“No, Dad, I’m not giving you more money. I barely have enough to keep myself going right now, and I’m not funding another trip to the casino…. No. Don’t bring them into this. They’re doing just fine without you… How about you just get money from your wife? You know, the one you left us for? Oh, I’m sorry, she  _left you_ … It’s called karma, Dad. Besides, I’m not saying anything that isn’t true… Don’t you dare call me that… Hello? Hello?!”

Virgil screamed in frustration and threw his phone onto the couch, sinking to the floor and burying his hands in his hair.

_Of course something had to screw this day up. Of_  course _._

_Things aren’t going to get better. Not really. Just progressively worse, like always. Dad will lose more money and get drunker and another wife and then another divorce and keep trying to crawl back to me and I just can’t handle that…_

_You could call Patton,_  a little hopeful voice in his head perked up.

Virgil liked that idea. He reached for his phone on the couch before yanking his hand back.

_No. It was just a nice gesture. He doesn’t actually want to be burdened with your problems, no matter what he says. Don’t unload all this onto him._

That night was a bad one, as the many voices in his head fought back and forth. Not even the late-night cartoons could drown them out. He tried tea and water and some food and a shower and, finally, sleep, but nothing provided relief. The thoughts continued to scream things that Virgil thought he’d moved past, bringing up memories he’d rather forget. They were ceaseless and hostile, and just when Virgil thought they would never stop, he finally fell asleep at five in the morning, carrying the weariness of a soldier who had just returned from war.

***

His phone rang too soon. The chirpy ringtone of the Early Bird call filled him with a strange dread he wasn’t expecting to experience that morning. 20 hours earlier, he had been excited for this exact moment to arrive.

Now, he sat up and answered the phone with a half-yawned “Hello?”

“Salutations. If the information I was given is correct, this should be the phone number of a certain Mr. Virgil Everett.” An almost robotic, business-like voice was on the other side of the phone, and it was such a contrast to both Patton’s and Roman’s voices that Virgil couldn’t help but be slightly startled.

“Yeah, that’s me.” Virgil answered, clearing his throat.

“Well, this is your Early Bird call, and I am your third and final consultant, Logan. Patton and Roman have both praised you immensely, so I hope you take no offense when I admit that you, so far, have not lived up to their acclaims.”

At first, the bluntness of the words shocked Virgil, but then he began to laugh. “Well, Logan, I appreciate your honesty.”

“I am, however, willing to give you the benefit of the doubt if you are willing to explain why your voice carries the quite obvious tones of someone who has not received adequate levels of sleep the previous night.” There was a softer edge to Logan’s tone this time, showing concern and also giving the impression that Virgil was being scolded slightly.

Virgil was suddenly caught in a strange position. He didn’t know how to act around this Logan, who was obviously insanely intelligent - he’d already shown off both knowledge on the topic of psychology and a large vocabulary. But, even though he was smart, he wasn’t necessarily to be trusted with Virgil’s entire family life story during their first conversation.

So Virgil did something that he knew wouldn’t work, but he figured it was worth a try: he played innocent.

“Whaaaaat? I have no clue what you’re talking abo-” Virgil began, but he was soon interrupted by Logan.

“Virgil, before you continue, you must know that not even Roman, with all of his extensive theatrical background and study, can fool me with any sort of falsehood he attempts to tell.”

_Well. Shit._

_Okay, plan B: try being vague._  “I was just, um, I just couldn’t sleep?”

“Virgil. Try again.” But this time Logan’s voice, although still matter-of-fact, had softened a bit more, and Virgil felt a similar pull to him as he did to Patton. But the difference was interesting: while Patton’s was more one of open comfort, Logan’s was one of unspoken understanding.

So Virgil sighed and took a risk. “My dad called me last night.”

Logan hummed a bit in understanding. “I see. Was this a positive experience or-”

“No. No, it was anything but positive. We don’t exactly have the best relationship. At all.” Virgil couldn’t help but let a bitter note creep into his tone, and Logan seemed to hold his breath for a second on the other side of the phone.

“Oh.” Logan seemed to be thinking about what to say next before he jumped into a bit of a monologue. “Well, I’m aware I’m not Patton, so if you’d like to discuss this with him, I could go obtain him from the kitchen. If not, I can ask you to explain the situation to me, but please be aware that it is not in my nature to provide an emotional outlook. All I could give to you would be a logical one.”

Virgil was a bit surprised and he considered his options. It definitely would’ve been nice to talk to Patton last night - he cursed his past self for not calling the sweet, paternal man then - but after he thought it through, he realized he didn’t want comfort anymore. A rational look on the situation would be a nice change of pace, and provide a sort of stability he was definitely missing at the moment.

“Actually, Logan, some logic sounds pretty great at the moment.”

Logan’s voice suddenly sounded surprised. “Really?”

“Yeah, man, I’ve had way too much emotion for a week, much less a night.”

Logan laughed then, a small chuckle that Virgil found himself swiftly infatuated by. “I have to say, that was an extremely relatable statement. Well, I must say something before we begin. Are you still in bed?”

Virgil’s eyes widened when he realized he was. “Oh, God, yeah, you’re right-”

“Good. Stay there,” Logan interrupted.

Virgil was surprised. “Wait, what?”

“The odds of you actually getting good quality, productive work done today on two hours of sleep are low. I have composed an email to your employer explaining your lack of rest last night and that a doctor has instructed you via phone to stay home today and take care of yourself.”

Virgil felt his eyes widen. “Logan, I- wha- how? Isn’t that-”

“Lying? Actually, I don’t think so, considering I’m a physician. You may not technically be _my_  patient, but, as I said earlier, I never specified if I was  _your_  doctor or not.”

Virgil was subdued to a stuttering mess. He tried to express how he was simultaneously grateful and impressed, but no words would come out.

“Virgil? Is everything okay?”

Finally, Virgil was able to get himself together. “Y-yeah, I’m just… wowed, I guess.”

Logan laughed again. “I’m flattered. Now. While you explain your situation to me, go into your kitchen and make yourself some tea, if you have any. If not, I suppose warm milk will suffice.”

“Oh, okay, yeah I probably have milk,” Virgil replied.

Logan’s amusement seeped through the phone. “I would hope so. If not, I’ve got a lot more to discuss with you.”

Virgil laughed quietly as he made his way into the kitchen. He pulled out the milk carton and a glass before realizing Logan was waiting for him to speak.

“Um, where should I start?” Virgil asked shyly.

“Preferably with the nature of the phone call. I’m not going to make you tell me your entire life story unless it’s absolutely necessary, which it shouldn’t be,” Logan gently replied.

Virgil snickered. “Actually, it might be. So I guess I’ll just give you the basic overview.”

He poured the milk into the glass, took a deep breath to chase away the nerves -  _it’s okay this is safe it’s okay_  - and began.

“I’m the youngest child of three. When I was born, my parents had already been fighting for years, but they stuck together for who knows what reason. I suspect I was supposed to be one of those kids that would fix everything - once I was born, my parents would fall in love again and we’d all play big happy family. Well, surprise, surprise. That didn’t happen.”

Virgil sighed and put the milk in the microwave for thirty seconds. He watched it spin around as he continued. “They got divorced when I was five. My mom got full custody and raised us. My dad went off to continue his lifestyle of partying, gambling, and drinking. He’s been married and divorced several times at this point. I’m not sure where he’s living, but he stays afloat by trying to get money out of his children. Who, mind you, he barely tried to interact with until they were all eighteen.”

The microwave beeped. Virgil took the glass out and shut the door of the microwave, slowly getting more frustrated as his story went on. “My older siblings gave him money at first, but once they realized he was just wasting it on his lifestyle, they stopped and were forced to cut him off completely. I’m the only child he still has contact with. So I became his focus. I’ve given him a bit, but not a lot - hell, _I’m_ barely making it by, I don’t have enough money to support someone else’s life as well! I’m working long hours at minimum wage  _and_  trying to promote  _my own_  art at the same time.”

He moved to sit on the couch and set the glass beside him, releasing his frustration with a sigh. “Last night he called me again. He asked for more money. This was the first time I told him no, and it was surprisingly… painful. I didn’t want to let him down - as ridiculous as it is, I do  _care_  about his well-being. He’s not only my father, he’s a human being who I could help, and I chose not to. Does that make me a bad person for saying no? I honestly shouldn’t care about him, my father or not, but I guess it’s embedded in me to… to…”

“To care too much about everyone.”

Logan finished the sentence for Virgil, a sad hint to his normally unemotional tone. Virgil halted his speech in surprise.

“Yeah. Yeah, actually… that’s exactly correct.”

There was silence for a bit. Virgil drank some of his milk.

“That is certainly a lot, and I can understand why you had trouble sleeping. I don’t believe you are a bad person for caring about your father. I also believe that, logically, you made the right decision. If you are having trouble caring for yourself, taking on the financial responsibilities of someone else isn’t smart, no matter their relation to you or their lifestyle.”

As Logan’s words sank in, relief creeped into Virgil’s mind. He smiled a bit and sank into the couch. “Thank you, Logan. I think that’s exactly what I needed to hear.”

Logan cleared his throat before spitting out the next couple of sentences in a single breath. “Would you mind if I confided in you something about myself? It makes the situation equal-”

“Please don’t feel pressured to tell me anything-”

“-and it would help my own mental state as well, I believe.”

Virgil’s eyes widened a bit in surprise, but he sunk down into the couch. “Oh. Okay. In that case, please continue.”

Logan sighed on the other side of the phone, seemingly collecting his thoughts, and then he began.

“Virgil, answer honestly. At first glance, why do you think I became a doctor?”

The question surprised Virgil, and he stammered out the first thing that came to mind. “I, um, I don’t know, because you’re smart?”

Logan chuckled sadly. “That’s what most people assume. Either that or because I loved the schooling. Both of those statements are true, but incorrect. The real reason I became a doctor was because I care deeply about humanity.”

Another sigh came through. “That fact often shocks people. I know I tend to come across as unemotional, but I am not. I am a human being. All of my body’s systems, including my nervous system and my endocrine system, are fully active. Therefore I have emotions, as hard as it is for some to believe. I’m just not good at dealing with emotions well, whether those of mine or of someone else’s. This is often interpreted as a lack of emotion, for some sort of ridiculous reason I can’t wrap my head around.”

There was something vulnerable in Logan’s voice as he finished. “I think sometimes, when a person has a lot of emotions that they don’t like having, it’s easier for them to pretend that the emotions don’t exist than to confront those feelings. And I also think… I think that’s what I, myself, do.”

Virgil sat on the couch, frozen. His breath was snatched from him, his eyes wide in shock and sympathy. “Logan…”

Logan cleared his throat, and the emotion disappeared. “Alright, that’s enough of that. Is there anything else I can assist you with this morning, Virgil?

Virgil snapped out of his trance. “No, Logan, you’ve helped a lot. Thank you.”

“My pleasure. I suggest you go get some sleep, but set an alarm for three o’ clock. If you continue to sleep past then, you will have a hard time falling asleep tonight, and we don’t want that. I’ll leave you be now.”

“Logan, wait-”

“Yes, Virgil?”

Virgil took a deep breath. “Maybe you should talk to Patton. About the- the emotion stuff.”

There was a note in Logan’s tone Virgil couldn’t decipher as Logan replied, “Maybe I will. Sleep well, Virgil. Please feel free to contact me if you need my assistance.”

And he was gone.

Virgil felt exhaustion kick in with the loss of Logan’s voice, and he stumbled off to bed. His last thought before he drifted off to sleep was him wondering how he’d somehow been able to emotionally connect with the most seemingly unemotional person he’d ever talked to.

***

Logan set down his cell phone and sighed, wiping away a couple of tears that had risen to his eyes. Like he always did when his emotions snuck out, he thanked the universe that he was a silent crier.

There was a knock on his closed door.

“Logan?” Patton’s voice drifted through. “Is everything alright?”

Logan got himself together as he answered, “Yes, everything’s satisfactory.”

“Alright, kiddo, breakfast is ready out here when you are! And I’d love to hear all about your first call with Virgil. You guys were on the phone for a while, so things must’ve gone really well!”

“I would say they did, depending on how you’d define ‘well’.” Logan stood up and pushed the chair at his desk in. He made his way over to the mirror and fixed his hair and tie before sliding his glasses on, making sure he looked put together as always.

“That’s good! Are you almost ready?”

When he decided his appearance wasn’t abnormal, he swung the door open, and was hit with Patton’s wide smile and sparkling eyes. He immediately averted his gaze.

“I believe I’m in need of food, so should we-”

Patton took hold of his arm and started dragging him to the kitchen. “Yes! Come with me to the kitchen. I tried something new out today and I can’t wait to see what you and Roman think!”

Logan kept up as best as he could, ignoring the way he was feeling.

See, what Virgil didn’t realize is that Logan had no problem with the idea of talking out his feelings.

But it would be illogical to try to talk them out with the catalyst of most of them, especially if said catalyst could never feel the same way.


	4. Chapter 3 - Roman, Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil’s Sunday night was spent in a state of curiosity. He knew Roman was going to be his consultant once again, and he had no clue how tomorrow’s call would go. Would Roman start singing and flirting again? That was his first instinct - it would be just the same as that very first one - but something nagged in the back of his mind, telling him it’d be different this time.
> 
> Monday morning proved that little nagging voice right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: romanamongthestars.tumblr.com

Virgil slept well, and he slept even better that night. There was something about Logan’s reassurances that what he’d done was right that calmed him significantly.

As a result, his entire weekend was spent in a state of relaxation he wasn’t sure he had ever felt. He caught up on some TV shows he’d fallen behind on, and he was able to cross some commissions off of his list. The only time he went out was to do a bit of grocery shopping and refill his medication, two routine tasks that provided him with some enjoyable stability.

The calm atmosphere was nice, for a change. He was used to emotional breakdowns and constant anxiety, so he welcomed the serenity.

But, of course, Monday was approaching, and Virgil’s Sunday night was spent in a state of curiosity. He knew Roman was going to be his consultant once again, and he had no clue how tomorrow’s call would go. Would Roman start singing and flirting again? That was his first instinct - it would be just the same as that very first one - but something nagged in the back of his mind, telling him it’d be different this time.

Monday morning proved that little nagging voice right.

When Virgil stirred awake and picked up the phone, the voice that awaited him actually wasn’t singing.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty!” it crooned.

Sure, it was still a little loud. The nickname still made Virgil’s cheeks feel hot, and the amount of energy that was stuffed into the sentence proved that Roman was a true morning person.

But there was something seemingly more genuine about it. Something a bit clearer. The dramatics had turned down some, a magnetism that Virgil had picked up on with Roman was showing itself even more, and Virgil didn’t know how to feel.

“Good… morning?” he replied, yawning halfway through.

Roman chuckled on the other end of the line. “Please tell me you got enough sleep this time. I’m not very good at the whole lecturing thing, and, unlike my roommates, I don’t have any sort of medical degree.”

Virgil laughed a little as well. “Don’t worry, I did. I was just a little, um, surprised?”

“Surprised? What on earth for?”

“I’m not sure, but it’s got something to do with you.” The words came tumbling out before Virgil’s filter could catch them, and he let out a small gasp, anxiety stirring underneath his skin.

A small silence ensued before Roman replied, a hint of amusement in his tone. “I hope you’re going to provide me with a more elaborate explanation than that.”

Virgil released a breath he didn’t even know he was holding, and climbed out of his bed, beginning to explain. “Well, you aren’t singing, you aren’t complimenting me every other word, and you aren’t pelting me with pet names. That’s why I was a little shocked.”

“Oh, wait, is that something you want me to do? Because if so, I can do that for you-” The words tumbled out of Roman’s mouth quickly, a panicked note in his tone.

Virgil was caught so off-guard by the sudden shift in the conversation that he almost tripped on his way to the kitchen. “What? Roman, no.”

“No?”

“No. What are you saying? There’s no need for you to do that for me. Why would you want to?”

Roman was at a loss for words. “I-I just-”

Something clicked in Virgil’s mind, and he had to hold down a sudden burst of laughter. “Wait, wait, hold on. Are you trying to…  _impress_  me or something?”

The incoherent stammering coming through the phone stopped, replaced with silence. Roman’s voice, when it finally came through, was uncharacteristically meek. “Um, I, maybe?”

Virgil couldn’t hold back his laughter at that. He collapsed at the counter, gasping for air.

“Now, what’s so funny?” Roman whined, and Virgil’s fit started up again.

When he could finally catch his breath, he responded, “I don’t know. Something about the idea of anyone on this earth, much less my elaborate, dramatic, flirtatious Early Bird consultant, wanting to impress  _me?_  That’s absolutely hilarious, Roman.”

“What do you mean?” It was Roman’s turn to be confused. “Why  _wouldn’t_  I want to impress you? The person who so easily clicked with my best friends, who all _I_  could do was scare awa-”

Roman stopped himself. Virgil’s laughter halted completely.

There was yet another silence as Virgil tried to figure out how to say what he was about to say. Finally, he decided just to go with it.

“Roman… are you okay?”

The reply came too quickly. “What are you talking about? I feel  _wonderful!”_

Roman’s voice had reverted to what it had been that very first morning. But this time, Virgil didn’t hear an over-dramatic, pompous man. He heard the plastered on confidence, the fear behind the words, the overwhelming pressure that this man was placing onto himself.

And Virgil understood, suddenly, that this conversation was going to be different. The last two were focused on the others helping him.

This time, he was going to help someone else.

So he slid to the floor, leaning against his cabinets. And he let himself gently say, “No, you don’t, Roman.”

The reply was strained and almost broken. “Shit, is it  _that_  obvious?”

Virgil was surprised at how quickly the man on the other end of the line seemed to collapse. It was as if the facade he’d built up had become so desperately fragile that it shattered with one simple touch to the glass, and what was underneath made Virgil hurt.

“Roman, it’s okay.”

“No, no, it’s not. I’m supposed to be the one to help you, not the other way around. I’m supposed to be what you want me to be, because that way, you’ll be happy-”

“Jesus Christ, Roman, is this the kind of pressure you put on yourself with  _everyone_  you talk to?”

Roman sighed on the other end on the phone. “I… suppose so. More or less. You, especially, for some reason I can’t figure out.”

“Me?” Virgil replied, unable to help the surprise sneaking into his voice again.

Some sort of frustration snuck its way into Roman’s tone. “Yes,  _you!_ You know, I joined Early Bird hoping I’d find  _some_  sort of romance, but I didn’t expect for you to be so completely  _alluring._ ”

Another shocked silence came about.

“Virgil, I… I’m sorry, I…”

Virgil began to laugh once more.

Roman let out another whine on the end of the phone. “It’s _not funny!_ ”

“So, wait, you joined Early Bird to try to  _find love?_  And you got your _roommates_  in on it?” Laughter bubbled up in Virgil again. “Why am I not surprised?”

Roman sighed, but he suddenly began to laugh as well, in a hesitant cadence that Virgil knew couldn’t be normal for the boisterous thespian. He couldn’t laugh after that realization, and decided to carry on the conversation, only allowing a hint of his amusement to sneak into his words.

“Is that why you wanted to impress me so badly? Because you wanted to date me?” Virgil asked.

“Well… yes, at first. I suppose it is kind of preposterous-”

“You think?”

“But then it was because, I don’t know, I just felt this… pull? To you? I wouldn’t be able to explain it.”

“That’s weird. Most people want to avoid me altogether.”

“Virgil… this is serious.” Roman sighed. “I’m just… I’m so used to being able to automatically know what people want. And I’d give it to them, because I’m just a natural people-pleaser. I like making others happy. It’s why I love theatre so much. But, with you?” Something keen to wonder entered his tone. “I don’t know what you want. I can’t figure it out. You’re some sort of enigma. It’s incredible.”

Virgil found himself suddenly breathless and struggling to figure out how to respond. This wasn’t flirting, that was for sure, but the words were so fond and curious that he felt himself being swept up into some new emotion himself. “I, um, wow, um-”

“Um, you okay?”

The unsurety in Roman’s voice and how alien it sounded there brought Virgil crashing back down to earth. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” he responded, quickly getting himself together.

“Can I ask you something, then? I know this is strange. I’m not used to having to ask this in the first place…”

“Yeah, sure, anything,” Virgil rushed out his response.

“If you don’t want what I’m so used to giving to other people… what  _do_  you want?”

The question, seemingly so simple, made something in Virgil begin to ache. Was Roman really so unsteady that he felt like he had to ask what Virgil wanted to see in him?

Thoughts were swirling around in his mind, but there was one thing he was sure of, one point he was trying to make, if only it would just arrive-

And then it was there, and Virgil quickly let it fall out. “I don’t want you to be anything but yourself, Roman.”

There was a brief pause before the other man answered. “Really? Are- are you sure?”

Virgil felt his heart ache even more at the words, asking a legitimate question - the underlying tone of  _do you really want the real me?_

And Virgil, who had been searching for a connection to Roman like he’d found with Patton and Logan, realized he felt a completely different kind of pull to Roman. Something protective and ferocious. Something that was almost the complete opposite of what he’d felt with Logan and Patton. Something that wanted to make him scream out to Roman,  _Yes, I_ do _want the real you, I promise, just let me keep you safe, let me be somewhere you can relax,_ please _…_

Virgil found himself choking back both that flood of words and a sudden wave of tears as he responded. “Yes, Roman. I’m sure. Just… let me be your safe zone. Please?” His voice lowered to something near a whisper as he finished. “You… you don’t have to pretend around me.”

Roman let out a sob of relief himself, and that’s when Virgil realized they were  _both_  audibly crying, which only made them both cry harder.

When Roman was able to speak again, he murmured out in a warm, fond tone, “Thank you, Virgil. I don’t know how I’ll be able to repay you. My deepest apologies, however. This definitely wasn’t how this conversation was supposed to go.”

“Oh really, Princey? How was it supposed to go, then?” Virgil sniffed, ignoring the way Roman’s tone made something in his heart fill.

Instead of answering the question, Roman let out a laugh. “Princey?”

Virgil laughed as well. “I don’t know where it came from, but it suits you.”

“I’ll just have to figure out some sort of nickname for you, then, won’t I?”

“Something tells me you won’t have any trouble coming up with that.”

Roman let out one more small laugh before answering, “I guess I thought I’d, I don’t know, sweep you off your feet. Instead I dropped my emotional load onto you.”

“Are you always this idealistic? Do you think that when you step outside, the landscape will be all green and flowery, and the animals will start communicating with you? You’re like a Disney movie come to life,” Virgil teased.

“Whoa, realistic much? I already get enough rational thinking from Logan, and I  _live_  with him. Let me have my fantasies,” Roman countered.

The playful banter continued, Virgil finding himself comfortable with the conversation. If this was what Roman’s true self was like, Virgil definitely didn’t understand why he was so keen on keeping it hidden.

His thoughts were interrupted with an exclamation from Roman. “Oh, gracious, look at the time! I’m sorry for keeping you distracted for so long. It looks like you have to be at work soon, and I doubt you’ve actually done anything productive yet this morning.”

“I’d disagree with you there. In my opinion, this conversation was not only productive, but also quite important.”

“Ugh, you sound like Logan,” Roman dramatically groaned, extracting a rare giggle from Virgil.

“Sadly, though, you’re right. I guess I do have to go earn my livelihood.”

“Uh huh. Well, Virgil, I hope you have an absolutely fabulous day, and if you  _must_  leave me here all alone… I suppose _I_ must serenade you out.”

“Roman, that’s not-” But Roman was already singing _Dream a Little Dream of Me._  Virgil went ahead and let him continue, because this meant Roman must be feeling better than he was earlier.

It wasn’t because Roman, for all his bragging, did truly have a beautiful voice.

And Virgil didn’t put the phone call on speaker phone, and he didn’t contently listen to Roman sing the entire song while he quickly got ready, and, after they exchanged goodbyes, he totally didn’t have it stuck in his head all day afterwards, for some reason not minding at all.

That would be ridiculous.

***

After Roman’s little impromptu serenade - which Virgil seemed to enjoy, no matter how he’d deny it - Roman slid his phone into his back pocket and started applying his concealer.

The conversation he’d had with Virgil lingered in his mind, and Roman knew it would be there for a while. Sure, Roman wasn’t Logan, but he obviously still had a logical thought process, and said thought process wasn’t comprehending it well.

There was something suspicious to Roman about how accepting Virgil was. No one was  _that_ kind or welcoming or loving to him - except for Patton and Logan, and that had only occurred over time. Everyone he’d ever met wanted something from him.

The directors wanted more emotion, more movement, more reaction? That was easy.

His family wanted more money, more material goods? No problem. They could take it.

But something about someone just wanting him to be okay, to be himself? No. That wasn’t possible. That couldn’t be right.

Roman forced himself to look into the mirror, deep into his own eyes. He searched for something besides the pain that was all he knew and all he’d ever known. Something worthy of love or adoration.

The only conclusion he found there was one he already knew - one he hated to be reminded of. He choked down more tears, looked away from his eyes, and finished applying the concealer, trying to push it all somewhere inside himself where he wouldn’t have to think of it all.

But it kept resurfacing. The funny thing about internalizing emotions is that they don’t actually ever get stuffed down, just thought through so much that it drives their owner crazy, until they finally escape somehow. And so it was with Roman, who finally broke down completely for the second time that morning, collapsing to the floor in a ball of tears and emotional turmoil, his brain tossing this result over and over again:

Roman, the man everyone loved and adored because he could so easily give them everything they wanted, couldn’t be loved and adored for just being himself. That just didn’t make sense.

Not when there was nothing worthy of love or adoration inside of him.


	5. Chapter 4 - Patton, Part II and Logan, Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan finally got himself together, but it was too late. Virgil was too far gone. “I do not-” Logan tried protesting, but he was just interrupted by another round of laughter.
> 
> Virgil felt like a schoolgirl giggling to her best friend. “You totally do, oh my goodness,” he repeated.
> 
> Logan sighed, and as Virgil’s laughter died down, he gave in. “Fine. I suppose I harbor some… illogical romantic feelings towards Patton,” he admitted, lowering his voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: romanamongthestars.tumblr.com

Thomas had way too many questions that day.

As Virgil checked to make sure everything was running correctly in the museum gift shop, Thomas followed him around, words falling out of his mouth like a waterfall.

“So, wait, you had two super emotional conversations with your consultants in which you bonded like crazy, now you’re fluttering around like you’re floating on a cloud, and you expect me _not_ to notice that-”

“That what?” Virgil asked, halting his movements and spinning to look at the other man, who had an expression that was almost childish on his face. He twirled and squealed, and Virgil winced.

“Christ, Thomas, what has gotten into you today?” he said in disbelief.

“Nothing,” Thomas sang. “You’ll just have to figure it out yourself, Mr. Dream A Little Dream of Me.”

Virgil noticed he’d been humming the song without thinking about it. He immediately stopped, cheeks reddening, and Thomas laughed playfully again, almost skipping out of the shop.

 _Figure_  what  _out myself?_

Virgil shook off Thomas’s weird behavior and continued restocking the shelves. Whatever Thomas was going on about, as strange as it was, it would have to wait.

***

When Virgil’s phone rang the next morning, he noticed every single limb of his felt heavy, and his nose and head were both stuffed up. He groaned as he answered the call.

“Good morning, Virge!” Patton’s friendly, paternal voice bubbled through the phone.

Virgil opened his mouth to respond and began to cough before he could do so.

“You okay, kiddo?” Patton immediately asked, concerned.

“I think I might be sick,” Virgil rasped back, coughing at the effort.

“Well, that won’t do!” Patton exclaimed. “You’re not going to work today.”

“But-” Virgil was interrupted by his own sneeze.

“Nope! No work. You’re staying home. Move to the couch. Bring tissues, a fluffy blanket, and a trash can. I happen to know that Cartoon Network is having an all-day Steven Universe marathon, and that’s sure to cure whatever bug that decided to invade your body.” Patton commanded.

“Patton, if I don’t have proof from a doctor, I’ll probably get reprimanded.” Virgil weakly protested, even as he felt his body start to follow Patton’s instructions.

“Oh, that’s no problem. I’ll get Logan in here for you,” Patton responded.

Virgil faintly heard Patton call Logan over, and soon he was vaguely aware of being on speaker phone. His head was too foggy to fully process that, however, and he flopped onto the couch with a groan.

“Virgil, what are your symptoms?” Logan asked.

“Head feels stuffy. Same with my nose. My throat hurts. Heavy limbs.” Virgil grumbled back.

Virgil heard a giggle from Patton and the word “Adorable.”

“I’m not adorable,” Virgil whined back, just earning more giggles from the paternal man.

“Do you think you have a fever, Virgil?” Logan continued, a note of amusement in his tone.

Virgil thought about it, and reached up to feel his forehead. “Well, I’m not particularly cold or hot.”

“Do you have a thermometer?”

“No,” Virgil admitted, and Logan sighed.

“Why not?”

“A thermometer is not exactly high on my list of priorities when I get my paychecks.”

Logan sighed again, but this time it was more defeated than annoyed. There was a noise of pity from Patton.

Virgil groaned. “Please don’t feel bad for me. I’m making it by.”

Patton made a slight sound of protest, but Logan quickly moved on. “It sounds as if you have a cold. Either that or just really bad allergies. Either way, it’s bothersome, but not deadly. Maybe you don’t have a thermometer, but please tell me you at least have some cold medicine.”

Virgil pulled himself off of the couch, groaning, and traveled to the bathroom. “There should be  _something_  here…”

He rustled through the cabinets and finally found some DayQuil.

“Perfect,” Logan responded when Virgil informed him. “Just take that as necessary. Hopefully you’ll be feeling better tomorrow. I’ll write another email to your workplace.”

Virgil took the DayQuil and made his way back to the couch, this time with a glass of water in tow. He could hear some rustling and then a whimper from Patton. “Logan, c’mon, couldn’t you just stay a little while?” Patton pleaded.

There was a pause, and then Logan cleared his throat. The same curiously indecipherable tone that Virgil had heard at the end of their last phone call emerged from him when he responded. “I… suppose I could write the email from my phone.”

Patton squealed and there was more rustling and a slight “oof” from Logan. Virgil, in his sickly haze, let out a sweet giggle and an “aww”.

Patton giggled as well. “Oh, you are  _so cute!”_

“I am  _not,_ ” Virgil weakly protested.

Logan chucked. “Go rest, Virgil. We’ll stop bothering you now.”

“Text us if you need anything!” Patton chirped.

They hung up, and Virgil felt himself drift into an illness-induced slumber.

***

After Logan tapped the “End” button, Patton huffed.

“He really is adorable, you know. I love my dark, strange son,” Patton gushed, and Logan had to avert his eyes for fear that Patton’s look of adoration would make him blush.

But, when Patton’s face fell, Logan looked up in alarm. “You know, he really opened up to me that first phone conversation. I feel like he’s… lonely,” Patton admitted.

Logan took a seat on the bed, pondering the situation and how to respond. “Patton, I don’t think he’s lonely. I think he’s just used to being alone.”

Patton met his eyes, and Logan found himself unable to look away from those brown irises that felt so much and intrigued him because of it. The next words Patton spoke were small and soft, and Logan felt something inside of him burst open with them.

“Is there really a difference?”

***

Virgil spent the day sleeping, watching Steven Universe, and drinking water. He went through most of the soup cans in his cabinets, and spent a significant amount of time thinking about the tone that Logan always took on when he talked about Patton.

It was definitely an interesting tone coming from the very (outwardly) logical man. There were badly hidden notes of affection and fondness. Virgil almost would have called it brotherly, if it wasn’t for the hint of infatuation in there as well.

Something in Virgil’s brain snapped together like puzzle pieces, and he sat up with a gasp, almost knocking over his water.

_Oh, my fucking God._

_Logan has a crush on Patton._

***

Virgil woke up the next morning feeling a hell of a lot better. His sneezes had been reduced to sniffles, and his throat wasn’t hurting at all anymore. He took a moment to appreciate the existence of cold medicine before picking up his phone, ready to confront Logan with what he’d thought about yesterday.

“Good morning, Virgil. How are you feeling this morning?” Logan’s voice had that sort of concern that only a doctor can get, and Virgil chuckled.

“A lot better. Thanks, Logan.”

“That is adequate. I made sure your employer gave you both today and tomorrow off. It’s important that you rest just as much today, to make sure that you will feel completely well tomorrow.”

“Oh.” Virgil relaxed into his bed again at the news. “Well, thanks for that, as well.”

“My pleasure, Virgil. If that is all you would need, I will leave you be-”

“Logan, wait,” Virgil rushed out.

“Yes?” Logan asked. “Is everything okay?”

“Uhm…” Virgil pondered how to say what he was about to say. The conclusion he had come to was a bit rough around the edges, but it wasn’t something he could just ignore.

Finally, he decided to just come out and say it. “Is it possible that you have a crush on Patton?”

The illegible stammers and mutters that arose from Logan at those words triggered something in Virgil, and he began to laugh.

“Oh, my God, you do!!!” he spat out through giggles.

Logan finally got himself together, but it was too late. Virgil was too far gone. “I do  _not-”_  Logan tried protesting, but he was just interrupted by another round of laughter.

Virgil felt like a schoolgirl giggling to her best friend. “You totally do, oh my goodness,” he repeated.

Logan sighed, and as Virgil’s laughter died down, he gave in. “Fine. I suppose I harbor some…  _illogical romantic feelings_  towards Patton,” he admitted, lowering his voice.

“‘Illogical romantic feelings,’ my _ass,_ ” Virgil laughed.

“Virgil!” Logan gasped.

“C’mon, Logan. You’re so far gone I could figure it out _through the phone!_  Don’t you think it’s more than just some ‘illogical romantic feelings’ at this point?”

“Virgil, you _know_ I’m not good with emotions,” Logan half-whined, setting Virgil off once more.

“Okay, okay, just, hold on,” Virgil responded, calming himself down.

“I cannot comprehend why this is so amusing to you, Virgil. It’s nothing but confusing to me. My sudden infatuation with him is ridiculous.”

“Logan, when you say ‘sudden’, what do you mean?”

“I’m sorry?”

Virgil rolled his eyes, biting back a smirk. “I mean, when did you start feeling these emotions?”

“About two years ago, if my memory serves me right, which it usually does.”

Virgil practically choked. “Two years? And you believe it’s sudden?”

“Yes? I believe so. I have known him and Roman since college, and I never expected any of this to happen.” There was a bit of a pause before Logan admitted, “Maybe it isn’t sudden, now that I think about it.”

“Ooookay then, so, what was going on when you realized it?”

Logan sighed fondly. “We were at Target, doing some routine shopping. Roman had gotten distracted, and he went off to the music section while Patton and I were busy actually getting the items we needed. We passed the pajamas section, and there was a cat onesie there, along with a unicorn one. Patton was infatuated with the cat one, and ran to try it on. When he walked out of the dressing room….”

Logan let out a breathy laugh. “I wouldn’t be able to tell you what it was, exactly. Maybe the fact that he was wearing a onesie, or maybe it was the pure joy in his eyes. All I know is that, somehow, he convinced me to buy it for him, and I also was talked into purchasing the unicorn onesie for myself. Quite a feat he managed to accomplish. He’s had the same effect on me ever since.”

Virgil couldn’t help but smile. “That’s just… the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard. I’m not one for cutesy things like that, but, wow.”

Logan cleared his throat, obviously flustered. “Anyways, it’s nothing, I’m sure it will fade with time.”

Virgil’s eyes widened. “What do you mean it’ll fade with time? Logan, it’s been  _two years.”_

“Just because my feelings towards Patton haven’t faded in the past two years doesn’t mean they won’t fade in the next two, Virgil.”

“Logan, all I’m saying, as crazy as this sounds, is that maybe those feelings have stuck around for a reason. Are you absolutely positive that Patton doesn’t feel the same way?”

Logan sighed. “Why would he?”

“But, Logan…” Virgil said gently, “Why _wouldn’t_ he?”

Logan’s only response was another sigh. The line was silent for a minute or two.

“Virgil, this conversation has given me a lot to ponder. I think I should go and think through this. But… thank you. For letting me talk about it. It did seem to help.”

Virgil sensed that this was probably the most he was going to get out of Logan, so he accepted the gratitude. “And Logan? Text me if you need anything, okay?” he shyly added.

There was a half-smile in Logan’s voice as he agreed, and then the line went silent.

***

Logan got off of the bed and began to get ready for the day. He could feel his head spinning with new information and his heart daring to feel hopeful, no matter how much he tried to talk it down.

The logical man was too distracted by his thoughts to hear footsteps outside his door as Patton shuffled away from it, his heart pounding and his own head spinning.


	6. Chapter 5 - And So It Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Patton knew he couldn’t force them to solve their issues, he wanted to - no, he needed to - do something that would maybe distract them all from their issues. Something that would get them all so ecstatic, they’d be able to not worry about their problems for a while, if only a couple of hours.
> 
> So he thought, and thought hard. He wasn’t coming up with anything, and he groaned, running his hand through his hair.
> 
> And then he got a text from Virgil.
> 
> Patton stared at his phone for a minute. Something in his brain was putting puzzle pieces together, and he felt a wide smile spread across his face at the end product. Suddenly, he knew exactly what he was going to do. And it was going to be wonderful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: romanamongthestars.tumblr.com

_Falling in love is not rational. It’s madness. A beautiful, wonderful, moment of magnificent insanity._

_\- Michael Faudet_

***

_Three Months Later_

Virgil was, quite possibly, the happiest he’d ever been.

January had somehow merged into April without him realizing it. It had all gone past in a haze of giggly phone calls, excited rants to a smirking Thomas, and awaiting each morning with delight and a sweet sense of anticipation.

He and Patton had developed an even deeper bond, and the comfort Virgil felt around him in the beginning was nothing compared to what they shared now. They laughed at dad jokes and puns together, ranted about movies and TV shows they both enjoyed, and talked about cute animals. Patton even attempted to teach Virgil how to bake over the phone once, but that ended in smoke alarms going off and a flustered, anxious Virgil, so that quickly stopped.

Virgil and Logan’s conversations had somehow become about astronomy at some point, and they discovered they shared a love for the stars. Logan taught Virgil how to find more constellations than Virgil had realized existed, little rants that left Logan beaming and Virgil wonderstruck. And, of course, Logan ranted about Patton, who he still hadn’t talked to about his “pestering, illogical emotions”, no matter Virgil’s pleas.

And Virgil’s bond with Roman was something teasing and protective; a mutual, unspoken promise of safety and confidentiality for each of them. While Roman still hid most of his issues, he was becoming better at opening up to Virgil, and Virgil was more than willing to listen and help. They introduced each other to music - Virgil got Roman obsessed with Panic! At The Disco, and Roman got Virgil obsessed with many different musicals - and they even openly daydreamed to one another, something Virgil had never been comfortable with before.

Virgil felt like he’d known them all his life.

It was around February when they stopped worrying about calling him through the app, and just used their normal numbers. It was around the same time that the group chat arose. Virgil remembers the rush of dopamine he felt at seeing the notification on his phone:

**_Princey_  has added you,  _Puffball_ , and _Nerd_ to the conversation.**

_**Princey:**  Practically perfect in every way!_

_**Nerd:**  Roman, again with the Mary Poppins references?_

_**Princey:**  JULIE ANDREWS IS AN ABSOLUTE ANGEL AND I WILL NOT HAVE YOU SPEAK LOWLY OF ANYTHING HAVING TO DO WITH HER NAME._

_**Nerd:**  ….References aside, I do commend you on the idea of group communication. I’m surprised this didn’t arise sooner._

_**Puffball** : Awww, now we can all talk together!_

Virgil openly smiled at the conversations. His three favorite people, all in one place-

_Oh, God, when did they become my favorite people?_

No matter when it happened, there was no denying it now. Virgil would never admit it out loud, but his three consultants were the lights of his life.

Thomas watched it all occur from the sidelines. He knew it was only a matter of time until Virgil came to terms with what he was actually feeling.

But, for now, he would keep listening to the gushing rants, and allow Virgil to stay in his sweet oblivion.

***

Roman was, quite honestly, the most confused he’d ever been.

His friendship with Virgil was going amazingly. Virgil was an unspoken addition to the little group of three, and he had become irreplaceable, despite them never having actually met in real life. Patton gushed about him so much, and the small smile Logan got on his face when Virgil was mentioned was something rare and content.

What was bothering Roman was that… well, he had always fallen easily. Perhaps too easily. But what he felt approaching was something completely different.

He knew he was going to fall for Virgil from the moment they first spoke. He could still see that on the horizon, but it was combined with something else he had never experienced before. Some kind of longing he didn’t recognize.

Was the idea of being in love with Virgil and only Virgil somehow not enough?

He was so distracted by his own thoughts that he spaced out three times during the rehearsals of his play this particular afternoon. The actors were concerned - Roman was usually a very attentive and meticulous director - and approached him multiple times to ask if everything was alright. He nodded his head yes every time, knowing it would be unprofessional to confide in any of his actors. Even Joan, who Roman was closest with, couldn’t know about this inner turmoil.

When he got home that night, Patton and Logan noticed it, too. But Roman ignored their questions and went straight to his room to try to work it all out.

***

Contrary to the belief of some, Patton was not stupid.

If you didn’t know about his doctorate or occupation and you saw him interact with others in everyday life, you’d assume he was one of those people with the motto “ignorance is bliss”. But he definitely was not.

Which is exactly why that day back in January, and what happened to him afterwards, was something that he had trouble ignoring.

He wasn’t sure what had prompted him to listen in on Logan and Virgil’s conversation - an action that was completely uncharacteristic for him - but he knew he regretted it completely. Especially since Patton’s feelings for his roommate were completely platonic.

Right?

The January Patton would’ve said they were. Which is why he made a promise to himself not to mention the conversation he’d accidentally heard. In fact, he was very good at pretending he hadn’t heard it at all. Neither Logan nor Virgil had a clue. But Logan’s surprising (and yet unsurprising) confession triggered a little voice in the back of his head, one that said:

_Stop lying to yourself._

The question was, what exactly was Patton lying to himself about?

He’d shrugged it off at the time. But, now, it was three months later, and the little voice was still there.

Especially today, for some reason. He couldn’t stop thinking about what it was trying to say, resulting in him burning breakfast, spacing out during a couple of appointments (which he felt very, _very_  bad about), and almost stepping on a street-cat’s tail (which was also haunting him).

Even through this haze, he couldn’t help but notice that Roman also seemed very distracted, and uncharacteristically quiet, as well. And Logan had buried himself in things to do, something that only happened when he got stressed.

_What is_ going on _with all of us?_

While Patton knew he couldn’t force them to solve their problems, he wanted to - no, he  _needed_  to - do something that would maybe distract them all from their issues. Something that would get them all so ecstatic, they’d be able to not worry about their problems for a while, if only a couple of hours.

So he thought, and thought hard. He wasn’t coming up with anything, and he groaned, running his hand through his hair.

And then he got a text from Virgil.

Patton stared at his phone for a minute. Something in his brain was putting puzzle pieces together, and he felt a wide smile spread across his face at the end product. Suddenly, he knew exactly what he was going to do. And it was going to be wonderful.

***

Logan was stressed out.

This wasn’t new, of course, but for some reason more than usual these past few months.

His thoughts and emotions were jumbled into turmoil. Instead of his emotions for Patton going away, they’d become even stronger, something Logan didn’t even think was possible. He knew if he didn’t get them out somehow, he’d blush to death, melt, faint (he fainted easily), or explode.

And yet, he couldn’t find the strength within himself to confess.

So he kept quiet about it, to everyone but Virgil. Because, oh, yes, that was another thing: Virgil had _also_  captivated him completely, and Logan didn’t even know  _what_  to think of  _that._

He buried himself in work, and when he didn’t have work to do, he buried himself in reading, and when he ran out of books, he bought more books or reread old ones. Anything to escape whatever these complicated, mushy, ridiculous,  _illogical_  feelings were.

Actually, reading is what Logan was doing when Patton forced him out of his room. He reluctantly went, not willing to leave behind  _Murder On The Orient Express._

Patton dragged Logan over to the couch and made him sit down, where Roman was also sitting, looking a bit annoyed and still very much distracted.

“Patton, what on  _earth_  is so important that you had to drag me away from my writing and blocking?” Roman grumbled.

“And me, away from my reading,” Logan added, peering over his glasses at the man in question.

Patton, who had been very focused when he dragged them out, was suddenly extremely excitable and jumping up and down.

Roman and Logan exchanged an amused look, with a slight bit of exasperation.

When Patton calmed himself down, he took a seat in a chair next to them.

“So, I know we’ve all been very distracted and stressed out lately-” he began.

“How would you know that? I haven’t told you anything-” Roman interrupted.

Logan cut him off. “It’s very obvious, Roman. You’re always spacing out and you barely talk to us anymore.”

Roman looked offended. “Well, I could say the same for you, Mr. Workaholic! I hardly ever see you around!”

“That’s because  _you’re_  not around-”

_“Boys_.” Patton cut them both off with a stern tone and look, and the two men sank back into their seats, both pouting to some degree like siblings being told off by their parent.

“The point is that we  _all_  have personal issues going on. Myself included.” A childish grin made its way back onto Patton’s face. “But I have an idea. And - if he agrees to it, and you guys do too, that is - I feel like it’ll maybe distract us from our problems. We need a break.”

Roman’s head tilted in curiosity, and he perked up, almost like a puppy. Logan felt his own eyebrows lift in interest, and he sat up, as well.

“Well, what’s your idea?” Logan prompted.

Patton playfully shrugged. “I don’t know… maybe you guys won’t like it. But, hey, it’s been three months, right? I think a meeting is long overdue.”

“ _What_  meeting?” Roman almost shouted, curiosity seemingly tearing him apart.

Patton looked at Roman in surprise.

“Why, to meet Virgil, of course!”

Those few words he spoke would change the course of their lives - but, of course, not one of the three knew it at the time. They just jumped up in celebration, hugs being delivered by Patton, Roman’s mouth slack and cheeks pink, and Logan very, very close to fainting.

***

The next morning, it was Patton’s turn to wake Virgil up. Virgil was dreary and draggy at first - after all, it  _was_ Monday morning - but when Patton mentioned the idea of them all meeting each other in real life, he was shaken awake with adrenaline.

Virgil agreed, right away. Before he really knew what he was agreeing to, and before he could think too hard about it and back out.

They picked a date. The fifteenth - two days from today. During their lunch break. At a coffee shop that was similar distances from all of their workplaces.

As they finished up the plans and Patton hung up, Virgil’s head was spinning, his heart pounding. What was going to happen in just two days, on Wednesday, was scary and weird and crazy. He was a bundle of nerves.

But for every ounce of anxiety, there was a gallon of giddy anticipation, and something told him that fluttery feeling was all that mattered.


	7. Chapter 6 - The First Wake Up Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil felt everything in him come to a complete stop, and his blood rushed to his face. There was that self-conscious fluttery feeling you could only get around someone you thought was amazingly attractive, and Virgil could only hope this man was actually Roman.
> 
> The shocked, curious gaze of the man hadn’t left Virgil, so Virgil abruptly stood up.
> 
> It was the other man who broke from the spell at first, with a smirk and a mouthed, “Hello, Emo Nightmare.”
> 
> Well, now there was no doubt in Virgil’s mind. It was Roman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: romanamongthestars.tumblr.com

“Thomas, I just, oh my God.”

It was Wednesday morning, and Virgil was a bundle of nerves and excitement. That morning, Roman had called him, and they’d gushed to each other about how excited they were. Virgil had put on the clothes he felt like he looked the best in, and fixed his hair just right.

Now, Thomas stocked the shelves and Virgil was pacing around the gift shop, ranting about his worries to the other.

“I just… what if they don’t like me? I mean, they’ve heard my voice, but they’ve never seen me, or been with me while I talked, or-”

Thomas rolled his eyes. “I’m going to stop you right there. They are going to _love_  you. Heck, they already do.”

Virgil froze and looked up at Thomas. “What?”

Thomas quickly realized what he’d said, and he recovered with a “I meant, like, practically.”

Virgil cocked an eyebrow, but went back to pacing. Thomas let out a breath of air in relief.

“Over the phone it’s one thing, but, oh my God, I don’t even know what they look like. Actually, I’m not worried about that. Wait, but, maybe I am?”

An alarm went off on Virgil’s phone, and he pulled it out. It was 11:30.  _Lunch break._

“Thomas, oh no, I don’t know if I can do this.”

At that sentence, Thomas finally turned around. He placed his hands on Virgil’s shoulders and said, “Virgil. Yes, you can. You are going to go out there, and meet these three people who have pretty much changed your life. They aren’t going to judge you - have you forgotten that they already know you? Trust me. This is going to be great.”

Virgil swallowed, and nodded. Thomas sent back a reassuring smile in response, and promptly pushed him out the gift shop doors and towards the front exit.

***

Virgil placed his headphones over his ears, smoothed his leather jacket down, and began to walk.

He felt his black Converse touch the pavement as he got further away from the art museum and closer to the coffee shop. His heart was racing and his stomach fluttering. He tried to ignore his worries and focus on the exciting part of this. After all, he  _was_ getting to meet his favorite people.

That thought perked something in him up, and he began to walk with a bit of a bounce in his step. Soon enough, he was in front of the coffee shop. He sent a quick text to the group chat.

_**Me** : I’m here. Leather jacket, skinny jeans, and Converse. All black._

_**Dad:**  Lo and I are on our way!_

_**Princey:** Same here. Grab us a table, would you?_

Virgil stepped inside and ordered himself a simple black coffee with two creamers, grabbing a sandwich as well. The sight of the busy coffee shop was actually something of a relief to Virgil. Even if they didn’t like him, they wouldn’t be able to make a scene about it.

When his order was ready, he chose a table near the wall, between the door and the counter. He was just about to pull out his phone when the door opened, and  _holy shit, if that wasn’t Roman, Roman probably didn’t exist._

The man who’d just walked in wore a white leather jacket with gold trimming, a red t-shirt underneath, red Converse, and dark blue skinny jeans. Virgil noted this with amusement - they’d basically picked out the same outfit, but their color schemes were massively different. Virgil also noticed that, well… let’s just say that, if this was Roman, he had a lot to brag about when it came to his appearance. Light brown hair edging on a dark blonde was swept back from his face in a wave, and his skin had a slight golden touch to it. Virgil was taken back for a minute at how he’d managed to look like the sun himself.

Then the man turned and Virgil saw a flash of recognition in olive green eyes when they landed on him. Virgil felt everything in him come to a complete stop, and his blood rushed to his face. There was that self-conscious fluttery feeling you could only get around someone you thought was amazingly attractive, and Virgil could only hope this man was actually Roman.

The shocked, curious gaze of the man hadn’t left Virgil, so Virgil abruptly stood up.

It was the other man who broke from the spell at first, with a smirk and a mouthed, “Hello, Emo Nightmare.”

Well, now there was no doubt in Virgil’s mind. It was Roman.

Virgil suddenly felt like crying as he felt his mouth slack open. He saw Roman laugh and _oh God hearing the laugh and seeing it were two totally different things._  Roman’s eyes crinkled at the corners and his cheeks lifted up and Virgil suddenly wished they’d picked a more private place so he could run into the other’s arms _now._

Instead, Roman quickly made his way over to the table. When there was only a table between them, he spoke.

“I must say, my dark knight, you’re quite dashing in person.”

Once the words registered, in the voice Virgil had become so comfortable with, Virgil broke into a smile and ran to the other side of the table, tackling Roman in a hug.

Roman chuckled and hugged back. He was so tall - Virgil’s head fit perfectly under his - and so well-built, Virgil noted. And  _warm_  and  _real_ and so,  _so_  much more than just a disembodied voice and some texts.

It was in that moment that Virgil realized after today, simple phone calls weren’t going to ever be enough.

“I thought you said you weren’t a hugger,” Roman warmly mumbled after they each pulled away.

“What, are you complaining?” Virgil finally spoke.

“Hell no. This is so much better in person.” A dashing smile and something in Virgil melted.

“Well, that was fun to watch!” A sweet, fatherly voice popped up from behind Virgil, and he quickly spun around.

It was all too easy to tell who was Patton and who was Logan. About the same height as Virgil, Patton wore a blue polo shirt and a gray cardigan was tied around his neck, with the typical “dad” jeans and shoes. He had warm brown eyes and hair that was a little lighter than Roman’s, with freckles sprinkling his cheeks and a sweet smile adorning his face.

Logan, on the other hand, was around Roman’s height and quite skinnier. He wore khakis, work shoes, a black polo shirt, and a dark blue necktie. It was hard not to notice his sharp, intelligent blue eyes that felt as if they were staring right through you when you met them, and dark brown hair. Both Patton and Logan wore glasses - very similar frames - and yet, Patton’s somehow managed to look softer and Logan’s harsher.

Virgil noticed that the fluttery feeling was back and more intense, now that he was faced with not one, but _three_  ridiculously attractive humans. But he was clutching Patton in a hug before he could think about it, and Patton laughed warmly, hugging him back. Then he tackled Logan in one too, who blushed profusely before cautiously hugging back.

When he pulled back, he couldn’t hold back his tears anymore, because they were all here, all real - and apparently, they were having the same emotions. Roman was already crying and scoffing about his concealer under his breath, Patton was dangerously close to full on sobbing, and even Logan let a few tears escape.

They stood there in silence for a while, getting themselves together. Then Logan said, “I believe I should go get us our drinks and food. Patton, Roman, are you aware of what you want?”

“Just the usual,” both men said, and suddenly there was some nervous laughter.

Logan nodded and went off to the counter. Virgil moved to sit down, and the others followed, Roman taking the seat next to Virgil and Patton across from him.

“Sorry for crying, I just…” Virgil laughed again, wiping away his tears.

“No apologies needed! We all understand, Virge. We were crying along with you, after all,” Patton responded.

Virgil just sat there and blinked at him for a bit. “This… feels unreal,” he admitted, a giddy smile spreading across his face.

Roman nudged Virgil, and Virgil turned to see a matching smile plastered on the other. “Agreed. It’s something like fantasy, or a dream.”

Logan returned quickly, handing Roman a complicated latte and Patton a smoothie, keeping a mocha drink for himself. He then took a seat next to Patton and said, “Well, Virgil, how are you doing?”

The entire process was just so quintessentially Logan that Virgil had to stifle another giddy laugh. “In this moment? Pretty great.”

Virgil noticed Logan trying, and failing, to bite back a smile. “I’d say I feel the same.”

The conversation quickly moved onto other topics, and it flowed so naturally. Virgil noticed how Roman’s eyes always seemed bright and alive, and how he talked with his hands. He saw Logan, a contrast with small smiles and purposeful movements. And he observed how Patton smiled throughout pretty much the entire conversation, slipping dad jokes in here and there.

The lunch break was over way too soon. Virgil’s alarm went off, and he felt something in his heart ache as he realized this bliss couldn’t last forever.

Logan smiled and winked, giving Virgil a hug goodbye. “You must promise me that we’ll do this again sometime. I can’t imagine phone calls being satisfactory after this experience.”

Patton tackled Virgil in a long, long hug. “This was so fun! Exactly what we all needed, Virgil. Thank you.”

Roman’s goodbye was the most dramatic, bringing Virgil’s hand up to his lips and gently kissing the back of it. “Until next time, my shadowling.”

If Virgil hadn’t been blushing before due to Roman’s little remarks throughout the conversation, he sure was blushing now. He practically floated back to the art museum, ridiculously happy, but also filled with confusion. Whatever he was feeling, it was weird and unidentifiable. He knew he needed to talk to Thomas as soon as humanly possible.

But Thomas was on his own lunch break, so Virgil settled for a call instead. He began his cashier duty as he clicked on Thomas’s contact. The dial tone seemed to last forever, until finally he picked up.

“Thomas, I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Virgil said.

“Well, hello to you, too,” Thomas chuckled. “What exactly do you mean?”

Virgil sighed. “I mean that they’re all really fucking attractive and really fucking wonderful and I kept blushing throughout the conversation and it feels like I’m floating now? And that I’m feeling this lasting nervousness, but it was a nice nervousness, which I’m not used to, and I just don’t know what to do. What’s going on with me? They’re all so perfect but they aren’t perfect and that makes them perfect. They’re all so _different,_  too, and I love that, you know? I just don’t know what’s going on with me.”

Thomas was laughing now. “Okay, you really want me to tell you? Because I’ve seen this coming for a long, long time now.”

“Yes, please,” Virgil begged.

“Virgil. My friend and coworker. You are crushing hard on all three of them.”

Virgil felt his stomach drop. “What? But I’m not polyamorous-”

“See, maybe you don’t identify as poly, but Virge, you’re still falling for all three of them.”

Virgil did some quick analysis. The way his heart fluttered every morning when he got a call from one of them. His longing to hear their voices, to text Roman about a new band, Logan about a NASA article, Patton another cat video. And then there was how he had reacted when he saw them earlier, how when he registered all three of them as way too attractive to be walking on this planet, he felt as if he was about to faint.

“Holy shit, Thomas. You’re right. I am. I do. But…  _how?_ ” He sat down in a chair behind the cash register, clutching the counter in front of him. “What does this mean? What am I supposed to do now? Do I…. re-identify, or something? And, oh God, why did I have to get crushes on _all three_  of them? Just leaves more room for rejection…” Virgil groaned.

“I know this is a lot to process. But honestly? I don’t think you should worry about changing your labels or anything, unless that’s something you really want to do - at least not right now. In my opinion, just accept your feelings, and accept that they’re there, and that they are what they are. Don’t try to change them or tell yourself they’re wrong because they aren’t. Virgil, no matter what this means for you, you have three wonderful people who your heart has decided to love at the same time-”

“I don’t know if I’m in love with them yet-” Virgil mumbled, but Thomas just kept going.

“And that’s great. Just be with that and let the rest follow later.”

Virgil swallowed. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

“I’ve got to go eat now. We’ll talk later, okay? Bye!”

The line disconnected, and Virgil stared at his phone for a while. He took a deep breath and rubbed his temples.

Thomas was right. Virgil could deny it all he wanted to, but he was quickly falling for his friends. Patton, the kind, giving sweetheart who’d reached out to him despite all his walls. Logan, the intellect who thought it best to simply ignore what he was feeling because he was scared of how it didn’t make sense. And Roman, the beautiful, courageous, but self-conscious risk-taker hiding underneath a dramatic facade. All three of them had swept him away without him having a clue.

This realization brought up desires he didn’t know he had. Visions of all four of them going on long walks through parks, stargazing outside of the city, going on road trips during the summer. Going to an ice cream parlor and seeing Patton kiss little drops of ice cream off of their faces. Playful teasing, art galleries, restaurants and parties and movie nights. And Virgil wanted it all. He had been so careful to keep his heart in his own grasp, all to no avail. It was simply too late.

_Well. Talk about a wake-up call._


	8. Chapter 7 - Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What was wrong with him? He’d wanted this for Logan for so long, and now he was… what was he, exactly?
> 
> Joyful because he wanted them to date each other, he wanted them to love each other - but he also wanted to love them, and he wanted them to love him. Angry at himself for wanting something like that, something that was so impossible. Jealous that they could have each other, but he couldn’t have either of them. 
> 
> But, underneath that storm, Virgil was happy and relieved for Logan.
> 
> So he choked down the other emotions and sent support to his friend before hanging up the phone and letting the sobs rack through his body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: romanamongthestars.tumblr.com

It took some time, some conversations with Thomas, and a whole lot of overthinking, but Virgil eventually accepted his feelings. With each call, each text, and each time they were able to see each other in real life, Virgil felt himself fall a bit more.

But Virgil had forgotten that when you fall, you always fall downwards. And it was only a few weeks before Virgil’s first - and very weird - heartbreak occured.

***

It started with a call from Logan.

“Good morning, Virgil,” he greeted as usual, but the nervous energy in his tone was hard for him to hide.

“Hey, Logan.” Virgil yawned, and began the slow climb out of bed. “You sound nervous. What’s up?”

“I  _am_ nervous. I’m planning to tell Patton about my… feelings tonight.”

Virgil almost fell back on his bed in shock. “Wha- really?”

A mix of emotions was rising up in him. Relief, joy, pain, confusion, and more spread from some unreachable spot in his chest that he wanted to tear out.

“Yes. Really. I’ve mustered up the courage. Even if he doesn’t respond optimally, I believe we’ll still be able to maintain our friendship. I just wanted to… thank you, Virgil.” Logan’s voice was soft and affectionate, and Virgil felt something in him ache. He suddenly felt like crying.

What was wrong with him? He’d wanted this for Logan for so long, and now he was… what was he, exactly?

Joyful because he _wanted_  them to date each other, he  _wanted_ them to love each other - but he also wanted to love them, and he wanted them to love _him_. Angry at himself for wanting something like that, something that was so impossible. Jealous that they could have each other, but he couldn’t have either of them.  

But, underneath that storm, Virgil was happy and relieved for Logan.

So he choked down the other emotions and sent support to his friend before hanging up the phone and letting the sobs rack through his body.

***

Logan could sense there was something in his thought process when it came to the Patton situation that was simply irrational, but he ignored it.

He was hoping that if he gave into his emotions for Patton, his new ones for Virgil - along with a weird attraction to _Roman_ , for crying out loud - would disappear.

Speaking of his sudden attraction to Roman, that was the tipping point for him. He figured his brain was making up some sort of ridiculous coping mechanism for the rejection from Patton he was making up he would face. If Logan could finally get his confession out in the open, then he would discover the outcome, and maybe his coping mechanism would halt.

That’s how it should work, anyways.

So, that evening, when Roman was still at rehearsal, Logan went into the kitchen, where Patton was making dinner.

Their Amazon Echo was on, and Logan recognized the piano and romantic vibe. One of Patton’s favorite songs, and he danced around the kitchen, singing it under his breath.

_Wise men say only fools rush in  
But I can’t help falling in love with you_

Some impulsive urge in Logan wanted to grab Patton and twirl him around the kitchen. Watching Patton so happy and carefree unlocked something childish in Logan, something freeing and giddy.

_Oh, well. I was going to confess anyways. Seems tonight’s the night for nothing making sense._

Before he knew it, he was taking Patton by the hand and pulling him into a waltz. Patton was shocked at first, but just let out one of those bubbly laughs of his and caught on.

“Logan, what on earth are you doing?” A smile spread its way across Patton’s face, and Logan felt something in him flutter.

“Well, quite honestly, I was about to tell you something extremely important. But maybe I’ll just let the song tell you, instead.”

Patton blushed, and the kitchen was silent as Logan twirled his partner around.

 _Like a river flows, surely to the sea_  
Darling, so it goes  
Some things are meant to be

_Take my hand, take my whole life too  
‘Cause I can’t help falling in love with you_

When the song reached its end, Logan dipped Patton sweetly, and gently lifted him back up before cupping his cheek.

“I know this is abnormal. But I’ve been harboring some… feelings… for you, for quite a while,” Logan forced the words out.

Patton looked up at him in disbelief, and began to giggle, almost falling out of Logan’s embrace.

“What?” Logan asked, confused. “Did I say something wro-”

He was cut off by a sweet, soft kiss from Patton, and  _oh._ This _is what all the fuss was about. Oh, my God, this is actually happening…_

When Patton broke away, he held Logan’s face close and stared into his eyes. “You’re such a wonderful nerd.”

Logan tilted his head, a small smile across his face. “I could be _your_ wonderful nerd. In fact, I’m already yours… that is, if you’ll have me.”

Patton blushed, giggled, and kissed him again. “Of course I will. I’ll admit, I thought Roman was the only one who was good at the romance thing.”

Logan shrugged. “So did I.”

***

Patton called Virgil the next morning, giddy excitement in his voice as he described what had happened the night before.

“It was just so adorable, Virgil! He said he never would have done it without your support. Thank you so, so much!” Patton gushed.

Virgil hid his mixed emotions behind a thin veil as he replied. “Of course. It’s about time,” he tried to banter, but there was an obvious lack of energy in his voice.

Patton was quiet for a second on the other end of the phone. “Virgil, are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Virgil quickly reassured.

“Okay. Just… talk to me if you need to, alright?” Patton sweetly offered.

Virgil agreed, and the conversation was over. He felt himself wearily sink into his bed as the numb pain rose up in him again. Wishing for something to distract himself with, he set his headphones on his ears and put his playlist on shuffle.

The song that came up wasn’t what he wanted - it just made him think about his problems even more - but the rising sadness came with a weird comfort, and he didn’t want to skip it.

_But you were never mine to begin with  
Just a dream of mine that I live with everyday_

He let the song take him by the arm and drag him into his emotions,  and he laughed at himself through his silent tears. He was such an idiot to think any of them would be able to love him, much less all three of them at once.

***

Patton sighed, and hung up. The pain of sadness he felt at the knowledge that Virgil was hiding something from him would be ignored, along with the weird emptiness he still felt, despite his budding relationship with Logan.

He knew he did, truly, feel that way about Logan. What had happened in the kitchen was real, and Patton was completely over the moon about it all.

So why on earth did he feel like something was still missing?

***

Roman was a mess.

He didn’t know why Patton and Logan’s new relationship had affected him so much. But when they’d announced it to him, he felt something in him crack and something else in him heal. He was overjoyed to see them love each other, but there was an undercurrent of jealousy that seemed ridiculously out of place. He tried to chalk it up to him just being the sudden third wheel, but the feeling was still there, nagging him.

When he got home from rehearsal that afternoon, Patton and Logan were drifting around the apartment in a honeymoon-like daze. Roman usually loved watching budding romance, but something in him was screaming and aching to get out of there. He just couldn’t handle it.

So he drove to his favorite field outside of the city and sat smack in the middle of it, letting music drift through his earbuds, dying for some comfort, or some answers, or just… anything.

His thoughts drifted to Virgil, as they usually did, and he couldn’t help desiring for his crush to suddenly appear next to him. Just the man’s presence would be comforting-

Well, why couldn’t he call up Virgil, right now?

His impulsive side snatched his phone up and paused his music. Roman was hitting Virgil’s contact before he could think about it.

The dial tone rang. Once, twice.

Then a small click. “Roman, hey,” Virgil answered.

Roman immediately noticed how tired Virgil sounded. Tired and…  _sad_ , frankly.

_Oh, Roman, you’re such an idiot. He’s probably had a horrible day, and he wouldn’t want to go out of his way to see you-_

“Roman? Are you okay?”

Virgil’s voice had morphed into concern, and Roman was suddenly aware of the tears streaming down his face. He choked out a sob, and he could practically hear Virgil suddenly becoming hyper aware of everything going on.

“Okay, Roman, where are you? I’m coming there right now, is that okay?”

“Yes, please,” Roman forced out.

“Alright. Text me your location. Are you going to be okay until I get there? Do you want me to stay on the phone with you?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine, you don’t have to stay on the phone. Just please, come here.” Roman cleared his throat, trying to wipe away his tears.

“I’m on my way. Hold on.”

Virgil hung up the phone, and Roman quickly sent his location to him. He leaned back in the grass again, and tried to calm down and just focus on the music.

 _Every night I lie in bed_  
The brightest colors fill my head  
A million dreams are keeping me awake

The sky began to ombré from a soft blue to a darker one as the warm colors of sunset appeared. Roman heard a car parking along the road, and then the sound of footsteps crunching the grass.

Virgil sat down next to him.  _Virgil._  Roman honestly didn’t know if he would ever get used to seeing him.

He remembered that first day in the coffee shop, how when his eyes landed on Virgil, he felt like he might actually pass out. Dark brown hair, deep chocolate eyes, dressed all in black like some sort of gorgeous dark angel. He didn’t look real. He looked positively…  _ethereal._

And he still did now, wearing the same outfit (minus the leather jacket, which had been replaced with a soft hoodie). Those eyes looked down at Roman now, eyebrows furrowed in concern. Roman took his earbuds out and gazed back up.

Finally, Virgil lay down next to him. They looked up at the darkening sky together.

Roman was the first one to break the silence. “I’m sorry for overreacting. I’ve just been upset for some reason. I guess I just needed some comfort.”

There was a pause before Virgil replied. “I don’t think you overreacted. Fair warning, however, I’m not good at comfort. But, um, I can try.”

Oh, yes, then there was  _this_ : talking to him. Hearing that smooth voice in real life, a melody Roman would be happy with hearing for the rest of his days.

“Just you being here is enough,” Roman admitted, then immediately realized how sappy that was and awkwardly chuckling.

Virgil snorted, like he was about to tease Roman, but he didn’t say anything else. Small spots of light began to appear, sprinkling the sky above them. There was quiet again.

“I’ve been upset, too,” Virgil confessed.

“Wanna talk about it?” Roman immediately offered.

“Not really. It’s confusing.”

“Understandable.”

More quiet.

“What were you listening to, before I got here?” Virgil asked.

“Troye Sivan. Musicals. Happy stuff. Trying to make my mood better.”

“Did it work?”

Roman let out a single laugh. “It usually does, but this time? Not really.”

The day was gone, and the night had landed. A breeze rustled by, and Virgil shivered, then subconsciously moved closer to Roman. Roman hesitantly placed an arm around him, and Virgil stiffened a bit, but didn’t move away.

“Is this okay?” Roman shyly asked.

“Y-yeah. It’s fine,” Virgil assured, hesitantly leaning into Roman in response.

As more and more stars appeared, Virgil perked up. “Has Logan ever showed you the constellations?”

Roman raised his eyebrows in response. “He’s shown me maps, but never in real life.”

“Could I- would you let me-”

Roman could feel the excitement beginning to storm inside of Virgil at the mere idea of talking about astronomy, and Roman, unable to resist, quickly agreed.

Virgil immediately dove into passionate, alive explanations. His voice mixed with the soft rush of the wind and chirping of crickets provided a natural, tranquil symphony, and Roman allowed himself to sink into the moment. He’d just have to figure out his crazy emotions later. Right now, this moment was all that mattered.

***

songs used:  
\- can’t help falling in love, in the style of haley reinhart  
\- make me cry - steffan argus  
\- a million dreams from the greatest showman


	9. Chapter 8 - The Second Wake Up Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil knew it wasn’t his place to say anything. He knew he should just leave them alone, and let them be happy.
> 
> But this time, the love seeping through the phone screen, the love that was so plainly seen and so obviously not for Virgil, made him crack. Suddenly, he was unlocking his phone and tapping the screen quicker than he could process in an emotional storm of energy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: romanamongthestars.tumblr.com

Virgil’s pain stuck around for longer than it should have. It became a sharp numbness he hadn’t felt since before he was diagnosed with his anxiety disorder. But this one couldn’t be suppressed with any sort of medication.

Thomas saw him crumbling. Virgil had become a shell, hollow, his heartbreak eating him from the inside out.

 _It was okay,_ they both convinced themselves.  _Heartbreak always passes._

***

Summer arrived, and with it came blazing heat and congestion of the city. It had been a month and a half since Virgil and Roman had lay out in that field much later than they should’ve. Since Logan and Patton’s relationship began.

Virgil’s heartbreak was persistent and dizzying. With every call in the morning from Logan gushing about his date ideas, and every one from Patton gushing about them when they were brought to life, Virgil had never felt more isolated from either of them. It seemed all they did nowadays was talk about the other.

There was even a separation with Roman. Virgil had noticed waves of consistent sadness radiating off him, and yet, he wouldn’t confess to Virgil what was wrong. But Virgil could accept this, considering he hadn’t ever told Roman about the cause of his pain, either. This resulted in a distance between them that was, while weirdly comfortable, also lonely.

Virgil missed them all, in a way words weren’t able to describe.

He didn’t know how much more he’d be able to take.

And then he hit his breaking point.

***

It wasn’t new for Logan and Patton to flirt during conversations in the group chat. But it was usually hesitant and rarely present.

The texts Virgil saw popping onto his phone screen as he sat on the couch eating dinner were neither of those things.

_**Patton:**  Guys, help! I don’t know what to wear to the banquet tomorrow night!_

_**Logan:** You could wear that suit you wore the other night. That was positively dashing. Although, you looked better at the end of the night, when it was on my floor._

_**Roman:** Jesus, Logan…_

_**Patton:** Logan, darling, you are aware that we’re on the group chat?_

That was only the beginning. It got more gushy, more sweet, and everything in between.

Virgil knew it wasn’t his place to say anything. He knew he should just leave them alone, and let them be happy.

But this time, the love seeping through the phone screen, the love that was so plainly seen and so obviously not for Virgil, made him crack. Suddenly, he was unlocking his phone and tapping the screen quicker than he could process in an emotional storm of energy.

_**Virgil:**  That’s it. I have something to tell all of you guys. You better pick up your phones._

Then he was closing out the messages app, and opening the phone app. His thumb quickly hit Logan’s contact.

Logan picked up almost instantly. “Virgil, what’s going o-“

“Give me a second,” Virgil rushed out. He pulled the phone away from his ear, and easily added Patton and Roman into the same call.

Patton answered first. “What’s this all about?”

Roman wasn’t far behind. “Um, hello?”

“A conference call?” Logan interrupted. “Virgil, you do realize we’re all in the same apartment, just in different rooms.”

“Yes. I do. And that’s perfect.” He slapped the speaker button and placed the phone on the coffee table in front of him. “So, here’s the thing. I have something to say and I don’t want any of you guys to say anything back until I’m done.” After that was out, Virgil suddenly stopped. He realized the situation he was in, and he felt his anxiety rising up in his throat. He hadn’t thought this far ahead.

Now they were all here. All waiting. Silently, like he had asked them to.

So Virgil ignored his instincts screaming for him to stop. It was too late to turn back now.

He opened his mouth and let the words fall out.

“So the truth is that I have a really big crush on you. All three of you. And it was really weird for me at first when I realized it. It was the day we first met and I ran back to work and called Thomas and he had to tell me. But anyways, I didn’t think I was polyamorous, I thought it was just my brain or my heart or whatever playing some weird ass tricks on the rest of me, and I still don’t know what to identify as, honestly. But… feelings before identity, I suppose. And I’m pretty much - pretty much, my ass, I  _am_  - in love with you all. Way past that point, if there is even something past that point.”

Virgil paused to think about what he was going to say next. Patton intersected with a soft “Virgil…” and Virgil quickly replied, “No, hold on, I’m not done.”

“This might get sappy, so hold on,” he finally decided to continue. “I just… need to get this out. I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable. Feel free to tune out, I guess.

“Roman, I love your overdramatics, your witty comments, your bright soul. How you know so much more than you let on, observe more than people give you credit for, always paying attention to everyone else’s wants and needs. Your attention to detail, how when you smile, it lights up your whole being. The creativity shining from your heart inside out. I could go on and on.

“Patton, I love your caring, loving heart. Your openness and how you’re always there to listen. How you saw right through me that very first phone call. Your sweet hugs and your freckles and your comforting eyes. How you’re so willing to adopt anyone into your metaphorical family. How you were… you were… willing to love me when I felt like no one could.”

Virgil was getting choked up, stumbling over his words, wondering where all of this was coming from. But he forced himself to continue.

“Logan, I love how nerdy you are. How you care so much for other people but you have trouble expressing it, even ignoring your own feelings to do so. The way your eyes light up when you’re talking about what you love. How you were willing to teach me everything I wanted to know, being patient and careful. The stability you provided to me when I didn’t know I needed it.”

Another pause. Roman whispering out an awed “Oh, my God.”

Virgil wiped away his tears. “I didn’t choose to fall in love with you guys. But I’m choosing, right now, to lay it all on the floor in front of you, bare, vulnerable, scared beyond belief. Because Logan, Patton, as happy as I am to see you guys love each other, I can’t dismiss my own feelings towards you guys, as well. I know it’s selfish. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry I just can’t handle loving you so much and being forced to sit on the sidelines and watch. It’s too much for me.

“As far as I see, there’s two options here. One is to ignore that my confession ever happened and dismiss me. Keep shoving me away. We can even pretend like this entire friendship never happened. The second one is to… hell, I don’t know. Just make me feel that special magic I felt at first. The special bond we all had. I just want that back again. I’m not saying you have to be in a relationship with me for that. I’m not saying that Patton and Logan have to break up for that. I just want it back.”

Virgil was choking back sobs at this point.

There was painful silence. Virgil sat there in shock as tears streamed down his face.

_Oh, my God, what did I just do?_

“Virgil, I…” Something akin to pity had taken root in Logan’s voice, and Virgil couldn’t handle this. Not right now.

“I’m sorry, I need to go. I can’t do this right now.”

“Virgil, wait!” Roman cried out, but Virgil had already tapped the end button.

He curled up in the couch and began to bawl in his shock, ignoring his phone blowing up on the table.

***

Roman sat in his room, staring wide-eyed at his phone. His mouth was slack ajar, his hand covering his mouth.

Virgil loved him. Was  _in love_ with him. Not  _just_  him. All  _three_ of them.

And when Virgil made his confession, something had hit Roman like a brick.

He was in love with all of them, too.

That’s what he’d seen on the horizon. That’s why it hurt so much when Patton and Logan began dating.

Roman was paralyzed with this realization, not knowing where to go from it or what to do with it.

There was a knock on his door. He mumbled out a “yeah?”, hoping it was loud enough.

Logan slowly opened the door, revealing Patton next to him. Roman stared up at both of them, and the realization hit him even more, his breath being knocked out of him. How every part of them both was absolutely perfect. Wondering why he hadn’t noticed this before.

And seeing how their stunned expressions were akin to his.

“I think we need to talk,” Logan finally said.

Roman didn’t know what would be awaiting him, but he nodded in agreement anyways, his mouth drying up.

***

It had been four days since the call, and Virgil had put all of their contacts on mute, including the group chat. Every call and text went ignored. He resorted back to alarms, and started arriving late again at work. Thomas was concerned, but Virgil refused to talk.

Virgil knew it was immature for him to do, and he honestly didn’t know why he was doing it. Maybe he was just scared of what their response would be.

He knew, however, that he wasn’t strong enough to continue to ignore them. He could feel himself crumble even more than before without them, but some instinct of his stubbornly persisted.

Now it was Saturday night, and Virgil watched reruns of cartoons, ignoring the dull throbbing in his chest that also stubbornly persisted. Nothing in his brain made sense anymore. Down was up and up was down.

Which is probably why he strangely wasn’t surprised to see Roman standing there at his apartment door.

It was rare Virgil had guests. He opened the door when he heard the doorbell thinking it was a package or something of the sort. What he found was Roman, looking so un-Roman-like that Virgil almost took a step back.

Roman’s bright eyes were dim, and he sported dark circles underneath them. His hair was a mess, but had tried to be put together anyways, resulting in an interesting half-swept mop. He looked like he was…  _mourning_  someone.

But, by the shocked expression on Roman’s face, Virgil probably didn’t look any better.

Virgil looked down, unable to meet the olive-green eyes he’d fallen for so hard. “If you’re here to offer your pity, I don’t want it.”

“I- wha-  _pity?”_  Roman sounded shocked, and Virgil popped his head up in surprise at the other man’s tone. “Did you read any of our texts?”

“Um, no?” Virgil admitted, tilting his head.

Roman sighed as if he was defeated, and it was his turn to look down. Seeing that made something in Virgil’s heart snap a little more. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to handle this anymore.

“Look, just break my heart so I can continue to cry, alright?” Virgil spat out without thinking about it.

Roman snapped his head up. “Virgil, I’m not here to hurt you.”

“Then what do you want?”

The two broken men met each other’s eyes, each seeing the other’s pain and fatigue. Virgil suddenly felt paralyzed, watching Roman…  _see_ him so completely.

Roman opened his mouth. “I came to beg you to come to the park tomorrow afternoon. Over by the coffee shop. Please. Logan, Patton, and I… we just want to talk, Virgil. We’re complete messes without you. And, for once, I’m not being overdramatic. I promise it’s nothing bad.”

The same fluttery flicker of hope began to rise in Virgil’s stomach. He stifled it down, and his face contorted into what was supposed to be an intimidating look, but ended up looking vulnerable and helpless. “How do I know it’s, quote unquote, ‘nothing bad’? How do I know this won’t just hurt me?”

“Please, Virgil. You’re just going to have to trust me.”

Virgil’s next words were out before he could stop them. “Prove it.”

“I- what?”

“Prove to me tomorrow won’t ruin me even more than I’ve already been ruined.”

Silence and shock fell between the pair. Virgil’s heart picked up its pace in anticipation.

Roman seemed to be making up his mind about something, and then a determined look came across his face. Virgil cocked an eyebrow in curiosity.

Then Roman hesitantly stepped closer, closer, in the doorway. He slowly reached up and cupped Virgil’s face, their eyes meeting once more. Virgil’s wide with disbelief and curiosity, Roman’s soft and pleading.

They were close. So close. Virgil could feel the soft tickling of Roman’s breath on his lips. His heart was racing, his brain melting, his knees weakening. He prayed he wouldn’t suddenly swoon.

In spite of the miniscule amount of distance between them, Roman leaned in impossibly closer, and whispered two words. “May I?”

Virgil lost all control, and he was responding before he’d even processed what was about to occur. “Please,” he whispered back.

And Roman’s lips were on his, soft and warm and intoxicating, and Virgil was floating.

The kiss was surprisingly innocent. Even though there was shared  _want_  flowing through both of them, Roman took control and made it chaste and sweet, almost dream-like. It was over far too soon, then Roman was gone from Virgil’s embrace.

“Now do you believe me?” Roman asked, a fondness in his eyes that Virgil hadn’t noticed before.

Virgil brought his hand to his lips, eyes wide, cheeks flushed. “Um. Yeah. I do.”

Roman’s dazzling smile healed some small thing in Virgil. He grabbed the hand that wasn’t up to Virgil’s mouth, then brought it up and sweetly kissed it. “Until tomorrow, darling.”

Then he was gone, and the door was shut, and Virgil was sitting against it, staring at his hands.

He looked down, up, and back again, then began to laugh giddly, covering his mouth. The hope had returned in a powerful wave, catalyzed by the kiss, and Virgil let it sweep over him as the TV ran in the background.

 _If tomorrow was as good as_  that _just was, then everything’s somehow going to be fine._

***

 **Important Author’s Note:** how virgil confesses his emotionsisn’t a tactic i recommend doing, nor do i recommend saying what he said, or reacting how he reacted. it’s important for the story that these events would occur, but in real life, chances are that it’s not going to have the same effect. just felt the need to say that :)


	10. Chapter 9 - Figuring It Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil wandered around the park for a bit, and just when he thought he wouldn’t be able to find his three counterparts, he saw them sitting in a circle under a tree in a relatively quiet part of the park, murmuring quietly amongst themselves. Roman threw his head back in one of his bursting laughs, and Virgil felt a sudden isolation overcome him. He wondered if they had ever pushed him away, or if he was the one who had drifted away.
> 
> It seemed like he was very much on the outside looking in at something that probably never belonged to him and never should. Some instinct in him wanted to turn and walk away.
> 
> Then all three of them looked up and saw him, and their expressions made him freeze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: romanamongthestars.tumblr.com

Virgil didn’t know what to think at this point. After the previous night’s giddiness had worn off, he was left in a state of delirious confusion, wondering what the  _actual hell_  was going on. Not to mention, he was forced to analyze how he had treated his friends-turned-crushes, and the guilt sank into him like a weight. No matter how much of an emotional mess he was, what he did was simply wrong.

He made a promise to himself to apologize to them when they met, and he took them all off of mute on his phone. He then read through the texts they had left them. All were apologetic and pleading - which made Virgil ache - but none of them gave him any hints about their park rendezvous.

There was nothing he could do now but wait.

So Sunday went by slowly at a snail’s pace, and the anxiety under Virgil’s skin buzzed more and more as it got closer to the afternoon.

He tried to distract himself with routine errands, books, and TV, but everywhere he turned, he was reminded of  _them._ Roman appeared in the music aisle of Target, memories of their old conversations staring up at Virgil from album covers. Logan materialized in the middle of his mystery novel, and Virgil could practically hear the other pointing out inconsistencies in the plot line. And Patton showed up no matter what TV show he switched to.

So he finally gave up and literally screamed into a pillow out of boredom. He only paused to check a text from Roman, one that said, simply, “3:00”.

When 2:15 arrived, Virgil began to get ready, throwing on his usual everyday outfit (sure, it was summer, but that wasn’t going to stop him from wearing black). As he stepped outside, he realized that he’d forgotten to ask Roman where exactly in the park they all wanted to meet, which only gave him more anxiety about what was to come.

He swallowed the butterflies down and put his headphones on, starting the walk to the park and praying everything was about to be fixed.

***

Considering it was a Sunday afternoon in the summer, the park was bursting with life. Small children ran around the playground, older ones were biking everywhere, and runners and walkers alike were spread across the trails.

Virgil wandered around the park for a bit, and just when he thought he wouldn’t be able to find his three counterparts, he saw them sitting in a circle under a tree in a relatively quiet part of the park, murmuring quietly amongst themselves. Roman threw his head back in one of his bursting laughs, and Virgil felt a sudden isolation overcome him. He wondered if they had ever pushed him away, or if  _he_  was the one who had drifted away.

It seemed like he was very much on the outside looking in at something that probably never belonged to him and never should. Some instinct in him wanted to turn and walk away.

Then all three of them looked up and saw him, and their expressions made him freeze.

Logan’s was nervous and sweet, as if he was trying to convince a flighty animal to come closer to him. Patton’s was bursting with adoration, and Virgil felt his heart quicken at seeing it. And Roman’s was so full with love that Virgil knew there was no way he could turn back now.

They gestured him over, and Virgil nervously approached, removing his headphones. There was dead silence as Roman and Logan slid over to make room for Virgil to sit between them, and the quiet continued for a little while.

Logan broke it by clearing his throat. “Well, it seems there’s a lot to discuss. Where shall we begin?”

“I’ll go first,” Virgil rushed out. He directed his gaze towards the grass and begin to play with it absentmindedly, unable to meet their faces.

“I just… I want to say I’m sorry. The way I acted towards you guys wasn’t right. I shouldn’t have treated our friendship as an ultimatum just because of something that was my problem and definitely not yours. I shouldn’t have spilled all of my emotions like that and then just disappeared. It was all really immature of me, and you guys mean so much more to me than that. No matter why I did it, I shouldn’t have done it. And if nothing else comes out of this meeting, I hope you can at least forgive me for that.”

Another silence descended among the quartet. As every quiet second went by, Virgil could feel more and more tears pricking at his eyes. He was such a fool to believe this meeting would be anything but good. Roman’s kiss must’ve been nothing but a well-executed ploy to get him here so they could all hurt him-

His thoughts were interrupted by Patton softly brushing a strand of Virgil’s hair out of his face, and Virgil quickly popped his head up and tried to avoid those brown eyes. He waited for the sweet man to let him down easily.

“Virgil, of course we forgive you.”

Virgil looked at Patton in shock. “What?”

Patton tilted his head like a puzzled puppy. “Did you think we wouldn’t?”

“Virgil…” Logan began, and Virgil turned to see that his usually sharp  
blue eyes had softened. “I don’t think that  _the way_ you confessed was occupying our thoughts. We were more occupied with the fact that you even confessed in the first place.”

Virgil felt his eyebrows raise. “Um, what?”

Logan blushed and looked away. “Well, see… when I kept putting off confessing my emotions towards Patton, I discovered feelings towards both you and Roman, as well.”

Something in Virgil’s brain stopped working, and his mouth fell open. “I-  _what?”_

Logan shrugged and smiled shyly, and Virgil thought he was going to actually explode, the action was so cute coming from the other man. “I tried to dismiss them, thinking they were some strange coping mechanism, but they persisted even after Patton and I got together. I felt a sort of absence within the relationship, and apparently-”

“I did, too,” Patton interrupted, and Virgil spun to face him, feeling slightly faint at their words.

“I didn’t realize it. I was really, really blind to my own feelings, Virge. Your call helped us all realize that-”

 _“All?”_ Virgil croaked out in disbelief, and he turned to Roman on his right, who was looking back at Virgil like he’d hung the night sky.

“Well, my moonlight, I quite honestly fell for you after that second call. Those emotions certainly weren’t going anywhere. But I always felt like something more was coming, as well. And after your conference call confession, I figured out that the ‘something more’ was my unlikely romantic emotions towards Logan and Patton-”

“Wait, wait, hold up,” Virgil interrupted. “I might actually faint, just give me a second. This is unbelievable.”

“I’d say it’s believable, considering it’s happened,” Logan jumped in. “See, Virgil, we’re all dating each other now-”

Logan sounded so matter-of-fact, and Virgil didn’t know whether he himself was going to laugh or cry. “Oh, my God.”

“And, the important thing is, we simply wouldn’t be complete without you. So, if you still want us… “ Roman grabbed Virgil’s hand and laced their fingers together gently. “We want you, too.”

Virgil looked at their laced fingers in disbelief, then back at Roman’s eyes. He met eyes with everyone around the circle, and then he went around again, searching for something that would give away that this was all just a joke.

Instead of deceit, he saw honesty, adoration, appreciation, hope, longing, and  _love_ , so much love Virgil could hardly believe it. They were all open and waiting, and they all wanted to love him, and Virgil could feel something shattered in his heart that he thought was irreparable fall back together. He felt whole, and happy, so deliriously happy, and now the three men were nervous because he hadn’t answered yet, and Virgil felt himself burst into tears.

But he was smiling through them, laughing, glowing, and he squeezed Roman’s hand, and now they were all looking at him like he was the most gorgeous thing in the universe.

“Fuck, I do want this. I really, really do. More than I’ve ever wanted anything, holy shit,” he spat out between laughs.

Patton was the first one to react. His eyes lit up and he pulled Virgil into him, kissing his tears away before landing on his lips, and wow, kissing Patton was  _so much different_  from kissing Roman. While kissing Roman contained an unspoken undercurrent of desire, kissing Patton was playful and sweet, and Virgil couldn’t help but giggle into it.

Logan cleared his throat. “Ahem. I thought we agreed not to move too fast,” he said, but the delirious joy in his voice was unable to be ignored.

“Eh, it’s alright. I kissed him last night,” Roman replied, and the smirk in his voice was plainly obvious.

Patton pulled away to shout “What?!” along with Logan, and Virgil couldn’t help but start giggling again.

“So you mean  _I’m_ the only one who hasn’t kissed him yet? Well, that simply won’t do,” Logan smirked, and gestured to Patton.

Patton laughed and easily picked Virgil up, plopping him in Logan’s lap. Virgil shrieked playfully and his laughter started back up again, giving himself no time to react when Logan cupped his face and kissed him deeply. Virgil suddenly felt light-headed again, but in a completely different way, and the atmosphere quickly changed.

When Logan pulled back, they were both still smiling giddly. “Well, was that satisfactory?”

Virgil laughed again at Logan’s words, and the playful aura returned. “Oh, my God, that’s such a _Logan_  thing to say!”

Logan looked puzzled. “I’m sorry? All I asked is if it was-”

Virgil cut him off with a kiss to the cheek. “I know. I just love you.”

Logan blushed a bit and looked down. “And I love you, even if I still don’t fully understand what just occurred.”

“I can’t believe you kissed Virgil before you even kissed  _me,_  Logan!” Roman whined, and Logan rolled his eyes.

Virgil turned to tell Roman to  _shut up, Princey, you’ll get your turn_ but before he could say anything, Patton smiled quizzically. “If you wanted a kiss that bad, Roman, you could’ve just  _said_ so!”

And then Patton was suddenly in Roman’s lap, kissing  _him,_ and Roman was blushing, and Logan was shaking his head, and Virgil fell back laughing again.

***

Hours later, Virgil was laying on the grass next to his new boyfriends and staring up at the sunset. He held Patton’s hand in his own, listening to Logan and Roman argue over which corner of Aristotle’s rhetorical triangle was more effective in debate.

“Logos obviously reigns above all-”

“Of  _course_  you’d say that, but  _Ethos-”_

“Um, I like Pathos a lot!” Patton jumped in, and Virgil smiled, shaking his head.

Logan seemed to pause for a second. “Well, your opinions are certainly valid. I suppose a balance of all three is required for a solid argument.”

A silence descended, but Roman sounded shocked. “Did you just…  _concede?”_

“I didn’t concede, I compromised. There’s a difference.”

“You never compromise either, though,” Virgil pointed out.

Logan sighed, and sat up, staring down at all three of his boyfriends with a slight smile on his face. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe people tend to do crazy things when they’re in love.”

Roman and Virgil sat up, and, in sync, shouted, “That was a Hercules reference!”

Logan groaned and fondly smiled.

Patton shifted and sat up, then he suddenly froze. “Oh, wow, we almost forgot!”

“What?” Virgil asked, and Logan and Roman exchanged a secretive smile.

Patton grinned. “Well, we know we said we weren’t going to move too fast, but… we _do_  have a spare room.” He pulled a key out of his back pocket and tossed it to Virgil, who caught it, wide eyed.

“No matter the relationship between us, your apartment isn’t the nicest place to live, love. And your neighborhood simply isn’t safe. If it’s too uncomfortable for you to be living with your boyfriends, feel free to refer to us as romantic roommates,” Roman delicately continued, smiling.

Virgil broke out into a huge smile himself as he stared at the key, turning it over and over in his palms. “The term ‘romantic roommates’ is creative, I’ll give you that. But honestly? I think I prefer boyfriends.”

He looked up and met the three faces who each owned his whole heart, all beaming back at him, and he had never been more sure about anything than he was when it came to this. He was finally home.


	11. Epilogue - The Existence Of Happy Endings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman opened his mouth to respond with yet another thinly veiled lie, but the words got caught in his throat. Maybe it would be good to actually talk about this some more. The only person he’d ever admitted this to was Virgil, on the phone all that time ago, and he’d never tried to again. He sometimes caught Virgil giving him concerned looks, but Virgil never pressed the issue. And Roman had thought that was okay, at the time. He could handle it by himself. Right?
> 
> But now, Roman realized he was wrong. He couldn’t deal with it alone.
> 
> And he was so tired of hiding all his pain.
> 
> “No,” he finally whimpered out. He got off of his bed and fell to the floor beside it, then curled up into a ball and buried his head into his knees. “I’m not okay. And I’m tired of pretending like I am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: romanamongthestars.tumblr.com

_One Year Later_

Virgil was sitting at the window of the apartment in the living room, watching the rain drip down it. He traced the patterns it created with his finger, smiling widely.

“Good morning, darling,” Roman’s raspy morning voice appeared behind him, and Virgil turned around, motioning the other man forward.

“Look! It’s raining!” Virgil whispered, giddiness lacing his voice.

Roman chuckled and walked to sit beside him, placing a kiss on Virgil’s cheek. “It is. Isn’t it marvellous? I do adore the rain. It’s like the sky meeting the earth.”

Before Virgil could respond, Patton walked out into the living room, bubbly and sweet as ever. “Good morning, loves! Happy anniversary!”

He pecked both of their foreheads before twirling to the kitchen, whistling as he went along.

Virgil set his head on Roman’s shoulder. “That’s right. It’s our first anniversary.”

“Mhm-hm,” Roman hummed in agreement, pulling Virgil in closer as they continued to watch the rain.

Virgil saw the playful look on Roman’s face and he smiled. If he knew Roman - and he was pretty sure he did - Roman had put some sort of surprise together. “Well? Got anything special planned?”

Roman acted like he was thinking about it, but his eyes had lit up and his smirk grew. “Not really.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, just as Logan entered the room, yawning.

“Would anyone happen to know why my alarm didn’t go off this morning? I am awake two hours later than I should be,” Logan sighed.

“I turned it off,” Patton called.

“What?” Logan indignantly exclaimed.

Roman kissed Virgil’s cheek, then got up. He walked over to Logan and lifted his hand, then lightly kissed the knuckles, treasuring how Logan blushed deeply and seemed to freeze in place. “It’s our anniversary, my adorable nerd. You deserve to sleep in now and then.”

“I should have never admitted to you what hand kisses do to me. You have abused this knowledge,” Logan grumbled.

Roman put his arms around Logan’s waist and pulled him closer, chuckling. “You don’t seem to mind.”

“Breakfast is almost ready, guys!” Patton called from the kitchen. “I made you waffles.”

Virgil perked up. “The really nice ones with the chocolate chips and whipped cream and strawberries?!!” He called out excitedly.

“You bet!” Patton responded.

Virgil gasped and rushed to get up, almost tripping over his own feet in the process. Roman and Logan started to try to catch him, but he retrieved his footing and dashed to the kitchen.

Logan rolled his eyes. “He’s going to hurt himself someday trying to get to those waffles.”

“It’s adorable, though, isn’t it?” Roman replied, following Virgil.

Logan shook his head, smiling, and went after both of them into the kitchen.

***

Roman couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“What do you mean it’s not going to work out?” He hissed through the phone, rubbing his temples. “I’ve been planning this for a month and suddenly it falls apart? Don’t blame me for believing this is some sort of sick joke.”

He shook his head, sitting down on his bed. “Please. There’s no way? You’re sure?” He was begging, and he hated it, but he couldn’t let this fall apart.

The voice on the other side of the phone confirmed that there was no way this could work. That the rain had drenched all of the equipment and lights and even the ingredients for the food. That it was just too late.

Roman sighed, and hung up, tossing his phone across the room and burying his face in his hands.

He had the perfect idea for that night. It was their first anniversary, and they were supposed to go on a nighttime hot air balloon ride, then they would return to the park where they’d changed their lives, and Roman had hired an entire restaurant staff to create an adorable picnic and cook their favorite meals. Complete with fairy lights and blankets and  _everything._  But the rain had soaked it all because some idiot at the restaurant left it all outside.

The night was supposed to be perfect. Virgil, Logan, and Patton deserved nothing less than perfection.

 _That’s why they deserve more than whatever_ you  _are._

Roman choked back a sob, willing the intrusive thoughts to go away. _Please, not now, not now…_

“Roman?”

A voice from outside his bedroom door.  _Patton’s_  voice.  _Shit._

“Roman, are you okay? Can I come in?”

Roman opened his mouth to respond with yet another thinly veiled lie, but the words got caught in his throat. Maybe it would be good to actually talk about this some more. The only person he’d ever admitted this to was Virgil, on the phone all that time ago, and he’d never tried to again. He sometimes caught Virgil giving him concerned looks, but Virgil never pressed the issue. And Roman had thought that was okay, at the time. He could handle it by himself. Right?

But now, Roman realized he was wrong. He  _couldn’t_  deal with it alone.

And he was so tired of hiding all his pain.

“No,” he finally whimpered out. He got off of his bed and fell to the floor beside it, then curled up into a ball and buried his head into his knees. “I’m not okay. And I’m tired of pretending like I am.”

The door burst open, revealing a shocked Logan, a concerned Patton, and a distressed Virgil. They exchanged bewildered looks, the look of  _oh my God he’s crying what do we do_ , before some instinct in them took over and they all ran to their sobbing boyfriend’s side.

Virgil’s protective instinct for Roman that had been there since the beginning took over, and he pulled Roman back into his chest as Roman continued to cry. Logan intertwined their fingers, knowing Roman loved the comfort of hand-holding, and squeezed his hands. Patton just rubbed his back and ran a hand through his hair.

They stayed like that until Roman’s sobs died down and he fully relaxed into them. Virgil gave a pained look to Patton and Logan, who mirrored it back. Logan raised his eyebrows at Patton, asking him to take the lead here, and Patton nodded.

“Roman, love, can you tell us what’s going on? We’re here to help you,” Patton gently spoke.

Roman sighed, removing himself from their grasps and sitting up completely. He felt everything he’d been holding back for years press behind his lips, and he didn’t know where to begin.

He turned and leaned against his bed, facing all three of his loving boyfriends. They observed him patiently, tilting their heads ever so slightly in the most adorable way, and that same realization hit Roman in the chest yet again. Maybe that was a good place to begin.

“I don’t deserve you guys,” he whispered, letting the thoughts form into words. He watched as their patient expressions morphed into bewildered pain.

“Roman, what are you talking about?” Logan carefully pressed.

Roman sighed, and got up, walking to his mirror and looking at himself just as he’d done so many times before.

“I’m not sure how to best explain it. It’s just… whenever I look in the mirror, really. Whenever I think about myself, whether it’s what I look like, my personality, or otherwise - I don’t see anything worthy of love.” He paused and moved to look at his wonderful boyfriends. “Especially not from you guys. You’re angels on earth.” He sighed, and turned to look at himself again. “Me? I couldn’t even get your anniversary surprise to fall together. And it was supposed to be perfect. I’m just a prince with a broken crown.”

The other three exchanged looks of alarm. Virgil was the first to jump up and run to Roman’s side. “Jesus, Roman, that’s simply-“

“Not true,” Logan finished, and he joined the two at the mirror, placing his hands on Roman’s shoulders.

Patton went to Roman’s other side, and all four of them stared into the reflective glass. How could they get Roman, their wonderful, incredible hero, to believe how much they cared about him?

There was a bit of silence before an idea popped into Patton’s head. He met those beautiful hurt green eyes in the mirror. “Roman, I want you to name something about yourself that you don’t believe is worthy of love. And we are going to tell you why it absolutely is.”

Roman tilted his head slightly. “I appreciate you trying to help, but I don’t think this will work-“

Logan squeezed Roman’s shoulder. “Just try it. Please. It’s very painful to see you hurting so much. We want to try to help you see what we see.”

Roman looked down for a second and gulped. He felt stripped down to his core, completely bare and vulnerable. Would he really be able to admit to his biggest insecurities in front of his boyfriends? What if they suddenly realized what he already knew? Would they leave him, like he deserved?

But he sensed the air of love and support around him, with Logan’s hands on his shoulders, Patton’s loving looks, and Virgil’s sweet hand squeezes. Something told him it was all going to be okay. So he forced himself to look up into the mirror and begin.

“I’m overdramatic and selfish,” he mumbled.

“Falsehood. A bit of drama isn’t a bad thing. It makes you animated and gregarious. You bring life into everything,” Logan immediately sternly countered.

“You just broke down because you were worried you had ruined our anniversary. That’s hardly selfish, Roman,” Virgil jumped in.

Roman felt something in him swell with pride, but he immediately crushed it himself. He met Patton’s eyes in the mirror again. Patton nodded for him to continue.

“My under eye circles. My eyes. My skin, my hair, my facial structure. Just everything about how I look. None of it is perfect,” Roman admitted.

Patton immediately shook his head. “Roman, I’ll have none of that. You’re absolutely stunning.”

Virgil was looking at Roman in shock. “I’ve told you so many times how I almost fainted when you walked through the door of that coffee shop. God, Roman, I thought you weren’t  _of this world.”_

“There is no such thing as a perfect human being, Roman, but I’d argue you come as close as possible to being so,” Logan responded, pecking his cheek.

Tears had begun to trickle down Roman’s cheeks once more. “I’m not good at anything I do?” he stated next, although it ended up becoming more of a question.

“No.” All three of them responded immediately.

“Roman, everything you create is  _incredible!”_  Patton exclaimed, his own eyes beginning to well with tears.

Roman almost collapsed into sobs again. His eyebrows crinkled up and his face contorted with his tears. He looked away from the mirror. “I just don’t understand. There’s nothing here that’s good enough for you guys. How are you able to look past that?”

“Roman, love, we don’t love you because we ignore your imperfections,”  
Virgil stated, squeezing the crying man’s hand. “We love you because your imperfections are what make you perfect. That’s what true love is.”

“And it’s going to take a while for you to realize how amazing you actually are, but it’s important for your mental health that you do. We can’t have you fighting yourself like this.” Logan was bordering on pleading, his voice cracking.

“Oh, God, I’ve made you guys cry,” Roman suddenly cried out, turning his back to the mirror and burying his face in his hands.

“We’re crying because we care about you, Roman. We love you. You know this.” Patton gently kissed Roman’s nose. “You’re perfect just the way you are. You really, truly are.”

Virgil moved to stand in front of Roman. He slowly tilted the crying man’s chin up, and hurting green eyes met pleading dark brown ones.

“Roman, I know what it’s like to have demons in your head that are constantly screaming at you. I know how hard it is to fight them,” Virgil’s voice contained every ounce of strength it could, and both men were shaking as one tried as hard as he could to get across to the other. “But you have to promise us. Please.  _Promise_  us you’ll fight them.”

Roman looked from Virgil, to Patton, to Logan, all there to help him get through this and to provide him with unconditional love. Love they insisted he deserved, love he would get anyways, even if he tried to deny it.

He  _would_  fight the voices in his head. He would fight them for the three men standing in front of him. While it was true that he had to fight it for himself, too, and not just the ones around him, he figured his boyfriends were a good motivation to begin with.

So he took Virgil’s hands and pecked him on the lips before meeting the pleading eyes of everyone in the room. “Okay. I promise.”

***

“I _told_ you there was no way you could’ve ruined our anniversary, Roman,” Virgil smiled, playfully elbowing the man next to him.

The four boyfriends were wrapped up in blankets and a cuddle pile as one Disney movie after another flashed across the screen. Chinese takeout and various other snacks lined the coffee table in front of the couch, and the orange light of sunset streamed through the windows behind them, casting all of them in a sunkissed glow that enchanted the others.

Roman rolled his eyes and pulled Virgil in closer to him. “You can’t blame me for being angry, though. What idiot leaves food and equipment outside overnight?” he scoffed.

Logan nodded in agreement, wiggling out from under Virgil’s other arm to grab the remote and ignoring the groan of protest that arose. “That was, quite honestly, an idiotic move on their part. But I believe everything turned out well.”

A half-asleep Patton pulled Logan back into the couch and then nudged Virgil. “Hey, hey, Virge?” he sleepily mumbled.

Virgil looked down at Patton fondly. “Yes, Patton?”

A sleepy, playful smile stretched across Patton’s face. “Thanks for calling us all that while ago and telling us how you felt,” he cooed. “I’d say it was a true…  _wake-up call.”_

Amused groans sounded from the couch as Patton giggled incessantly at his own joke. Virgil relaxed back into Roman’s arms, thinking back to when he had made that phone call, when they first met each other in real life - hell, even all the way back to that very first call, where Roman had screamed in his ear and he’d hung up out of fear.

Now, he watched the scene in front of him and let a fond smile spread across his face. Logan messing with the remote, trying to switch to the next movie in the line up. Patton still sleepily giggling while rolling around and tangling himself up in the blankets. Roman, who had made the brave decision to get help for the nagging insecurities inside his head.

It had been a long road to get to this point, filled with crazy calls, broken hearts, and less-than-ideal confessions. But Virgil didn’t regret any of it.

So, as the sun sank lower into the sky, Virgil cuddled deeper into the loving arms of his boyfriends. If you had asked him a year ago, he would’ve insisted that happy endings didn’t exist.

Looks like his own love story had changed his mind.


End file.
